Genealogy Chat

My friend has ask me to ask this on her behalf.

My friend was born in Oct 1957 she has always known she was adopted and has had a very happy life, her adopted parents are both now deceased and would now like to know more about her birth mother.( not necessarily meet her although that could change )

She has only her adoption certificate and knows nothing of her birth mother at all.
as she never asked, there is no aunt's or uncles to ask as her adopted parents were only children as was she.

I know it says that
Everyone adopted before 12 November 1975 will need to attend a counselling session with an approved adoption advisor first, she dose not want counselling as at this stage she only want to see her original birth certificate not her adoption file.
Is she with in her rights to refuse this and still get her birth certificate.

Diane.

:-)

My friend went and when she got there was asked if she wanted the counselling she said not really and they gave her the certificate and said
It may be best not to contact your mum without help but its up to you

she said Thank you and left

Others here have had different stories to tell

Kempina went where to the counselling office ? My friend was hopping to order it on line.

Diane

No Joan,

she dose not know her birth surname, I think I have just gone and ordered the wrong type of certificate now.
.
She already has her adoption certificate what a silly moo I am

Diane.

P.S.
She knows only the details on her adoption certificate and court registration document.

Diane

if she doesn't know her birth name, she needs to ring her local social services post adoption dept. They will be able to tie the two names together and hopefully souce her files


Its called councelling- I don't think it is really. She'd go in and they would simply go through the file with her. It is a good idea really as she has absolutely no idea what will be in that file along with her name.

if you have found an entry in the BIRTH registers in what you know to be her ADOPTED name, it wont be her- you only get one shot at the birth registers- her new name will be in the adoption register, from which the adoption cert is issued

Hi Diane,

Does the Court document not say her Birth Name?

I agree with Penny, it isn't really counselling, but even if she just had her birth cert, she would probably want to know more at some later stage, and there is a waiting period while they find the file and allocate a Social Worker to you.

It can all be applied for online at the GRO, then you just have to wait.

Kind regards
Amanda

I have found the form on the GRO she has to fill in but firstly it wont fill in you have to print it off first, plus it dose not say where you can e mail it or post it.

Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Diane :-(

Hi Diane,

You have to print it and post it off to them after you have filled it in.

There is a postal address on there somewhere.

I presume they check things out before they write back to you, so your friend needs to be prepared to wait some months for a reply.

Her local Social Services will write to her to arrange an appointment.

Kind regards
Amanda

Am I right in thinking that although some one is adopted there first birth name that there birth mother gave them before there adoption still has to be registered, they don't leave it out just because a child is adopted do they, so when she finds out her birth name she should be able to see it along with everyone else's
correct me if I am wrong.

Diane.

She should be able to find her birth reg on freebmd (once she has been told her name that is)

http://www.freebmd.org.uk/cgi/search.pl

my oh is adopted and his birth mothers name was on his adoption cert and just sent for his original on line

sally w <3

Thanks Jax,
That's what I thought.

she says its strange because we know she was born Oct 12th 1957 baptised 31st Oct and adopted by march 11th 1958 so one of them names in the Dec qt ON FREE BMD is hers.

Her adopted parents had a little boy just before my friend but his mother changed her mind and took him back, a few weeks later when her adopted dad was at work her mother got a call and went and picked my friend up that same day with out her dad even knowing. So very different now days.

Diane

Hi Diane,
What everyone has said so far is right.

Your friend will need to apply to the Post Adoption Social Services in the area where she is currently living, even if it wasn't the place where she was born.

They will arrange an appointment, it may take a few weeks as they are really busy.

The counselling part is really to prepare you to expect that things may be different from what she is hoping for. This may be that her BM may have got married to the father and had more children, or that BM may have been in prison or that the circumstances of your friend's conception may have been difficult.

I have to add that they are really helpful and can have access to documents which your friend would not be able to access. My own Post Adoption worker was lovely and very supportive.

If you need any more help / info send me a message.

Good luck
Sue

Hi Diane,

I've just seen this on another thread, it may be helpful

http://www.adoptionsearchreunion.org.uk/contact/intermediaries/questionsanswersrelatives.htm

Thanks Sue,

Regards
Diane