Genealogy Chat

Have you always had to contact the owner of a tree to get information on a person you have searched in the members trees. Can't there be an option where people who are willing to share their trees information tick a box so you can access their trees without having to send a message to them and sometimes never getting a reply which can be very frustrating. It leaves you wondering if that relative you have been searching for is sitting in their tree waiting to be found.

There is no other way, I'm afraid.

BUT............remember that not everyone is as careful as they might be, so doing your own research is often the most reliable method

Yes, you have always had to contact the owner of a tree on this site ......... thank goodness!!!

My tree would NOT be on here otherwise. It is also completely private on Ancestry.

I certainly wouldn't want my tree in public view .

I am very selective who I open it too as well as I have had name collectors in the past who jumble things up

I am very careful with my research and I check and check again and back up with certs too if need be .so I want my tree to be kept correct

If there is a genuine connection then am only to happy to share the info

Thanks for all the feedback, Is there any way you can find out if the member has been active on the site recently, it would help to know whether I am likely to get a reply or not. Does the message go to there e mail or just on the site. Sorry for all the questions but it helps to know if the peron hasn't been active for a long while I wouldn't hold out hope of a reply.

they get an email from genes which they can open by clicking on the link

this is providing they still have the same email address they used when they joined genes.
even if they are no longer am member they can receive a pm and respond to it

you can tell if they have opened the email by looking at the envelope by the side of the message in the sent box if its still green it hasnt been opened

its an old problem i,m afraid that comes up a lot. Some people start a tree and lose interest . some don't renew their membership but the tree stays on the site as genes never deletes a tree

some sadly may have passed away and the tree will still be there

there's no way of knowing when someone last logged in

i never log out so that wouldn't work in my case anyway

Thank you. I will check to see if it has gone green.

Susan
If it's green it hasn't been opened

:-)

Green envelope- the message hasn’t been accessed
No envelope- it has

I agree with you Susan. I just joined here today and I doubt I will be back. I’m so pleased I just signed up for the month plan.

Main problem, is that we cannot see when people were online last. So we could be mailing people who haven’t set foot here, in well over 10 years.

In my experience of mailing, they either don’t reply, or they are related to a direct ancestor of mine through an in-law.......so not related at all.

Further, I’ve tried using the search facility, to look for names I’m researching and I’m getting thousands of links to posts dated from 2005. No chance I’m wading through all of that. One would think there would be a menu, where we could sort by ‘Newest Posts First’.

Very poorly organised.

Donna,

I agree that the search facility on the left, ie. Quick Search could be better, as many links there are duplicate posts.

It is better to use the search option top right of screen.
Click on SEARCH then on Search all member trees and refine your search for names that way.
If you find a possible match, you can contact the person who has the name of interest in their tree.

Hi Gwyn and thanks. I can see who has the same names, looking at the tree hints and I have mailed three or four people. The search above is another way I guess.

I like the idea behind trees being private, but it just would be better if we could see who is still around and who is not and then we know not to waste our time mailing.

I am also wondering if people can read and still reply to the mails we send, if they aren’t subscribed anymore. Thanks :)

Yes, they can answer any messages sent to them, but cannot initiate a message conversation unless they subscribe.
Messages will only reach them if they have the same e mail address with which they registered on the site or have kept it updated though.

It doesn't take a minute to send a message, and you never know!

People who haven't actively used the site for years can receive notifications if their e-mail info is up to date.

Thanks :)

I’m not holding out any hope. In my experience of mailing, which is coming up two years now, I have only ever had a few on Ancestry reply and nobody at all replied on MyHeritage. I think a lot are not much interested in connecting with those who might be living relatives, but are far more interested chasing their own history backwards. Whereas I’m over the moon to find any connection, living or from long ago. It’s daft not to connect with living folks though, because we could have info, photographs, etc, that they actually don’t have.

I also tended to think that a lot may not reply because they are not really related to my relative in their tree at all, other than through a marriage. A lot of people extend their trees, to include the families of those that also married in, whereas I focus more on DNA connections.

Annoying part is though, I have found two people here who bear the maiden surname of two of my great grandmothers and both of these people have one of each of my two great grandmothers in their tree. So to me, these two people must be very close relatives of mine. As in DNA related. So far, one of them has read a mail, but not replied. And the other still lies unread.

Donna ...............

I do hope that the messages you send to people on here or on other sites explain just WHY you are contacting them, why you think your "john Smith" has a real connection to their"John Smith".

I can tell you that I completely ignore any messages that come saying "I have John Smith. I wish to see your tree", or even worse "Open your tree."

Those of us who have been researching for many years, and members of GR, ancestry etc for 20 or more years, have become only too used to "name collectors" who take ALL your tree whether there is any connection, only a minor branch 5th cousin-6th cousin marriage, or a real connection.

Be very leery of trees with many thousands of names .............. and think how much research it would need to really ensure that each and every one of those names has been thoroughly investigated.

We can all tell you of horror stories that show how very wrong information has become part of maybe 100 trees by virtue of straight copying ................... stealing some would call it!


In GR's case, the site never removes any member or their trees except in very rare cases of "misbehaviour", any member who does not renew a subscription is simply dropped down into the Free category. This means that membership numbers under the very low hundred or thousands date back to ca 2002 when the site began.

Many members have died, become incapacitated, lost interest, OR changed their email address and not notified GR.

In my experience over many years of having internet, it seems that people in England are much more likely than any other to change email addresses as they move from server company to server company to get a better deal.


Consider doing the following things .............

1. Keep a record of sites joined, membership numbers, password(s), and let a close family member or good friend know where that record is and give them authority to remove yourself from sites ......... including removing your tree(s) ........... in case of your incapacity or death.

I have a black address book kept by my desk top with listings alphabetically of any site that has required joining and the associated password. OH and my daughter both know about it, and know what to do.

2. Remember to ALWAYS notify sites of a change in your email address ASAP ............... or even better, use a free email address that you will never change, eg, gmail.com

Sylvia, Thankyou, but no offence, but I’m not stupid. Of course I state my connection to a person. And I’m not as rude as to ask people to let me see their trees, or demand access. Infact I have plentiful information in my own tree and after doing non stop solid research over 3 years. I’m not a newbie to Geneaology and even hold certificates in the subject. So the likelihood is, is that I’ve got more info to give, than I’d be receiving.

For me, it is more about reaching out and getting to know family, to see how they fit into my tree, or their connection to my direct line ancestors they have in their tree, or sharing information I have, as opposed to just using people to get information and grabbing any information I can. I trust my own research, before I’d ever trust anyone elses..........Further, I don’t just work backwards, but I also work forwards to find living DNA related family. And I’m interested more so in contacting people, if I see that someone has my great grandparents sitting in their trees.

I don’t copy either, or take information. My own trees are private and because I dislike that people will collect names and steal family lineages....... I also know the information of others can be wrong and often is. Experience of Ancestry when I was a newbie three years ago, taught me that........ I do my own research. I never add anyone, unless I have the sources to back the connection back. I’m a member of Wikitree with over 30,000 genealogical contributions. Have a vast private tree on Ancestry and at Tribalpages. All connections backed up with multiple sources.

And I’m from England myself and I’ve had the same email address for twenty years.

I think you were a lot judgemental here.

I’ve decided anyway, to not bother mailing anyone again. It’s their loss, not mine.

My attitude is, is that genuine people who are interested in pursuing their trees, or are still active, would, or will find me.

Donna ............

may I say that I have in fact received more emails on GR from people saying Open Your Tree in recent years than I have from ones either asking nicely or giving me information. It is far more common than you think.

I have been researching my family almost non-stop for almost 20 years, admittedly mainly via internet as I live in Canada, and have certificates, documents etc backing up everything to do with my immediate family. We have also visited cemeteries and have contact with other family members who have been researching for over 50 years in some cases.

I also have more information than almost anyone else ....... and find myself giving information and correcting wrong details on here and ancestry, and rarely getting any viable knowledge in return.

I've had information taken from a tree on ancestry that I'd neglected to make private ............... a gt aunt and husband who married in 1902 and emigrated to the US was thought to be the same couple who moved from the same county to the same state in the early 1800s, and had multiple children before my gt aunt's parents were even born! Luckily the "taker" read my message to him, realised he was wrong and removed my family from his tree ............. but he did not apologise to me!!


My remark about email addresses in England is based on personal experience, both from friends and also from what I've seen happening on here and other sites ............... you are by no means the first to complain about not getting responses from contacts, and as I have known that in some cases people are still active elsewhere (ie definitely alive) but not on GR then obviously they have either lost intrest in GR, or they are not receiving emails from GR ........................... because they have not notified GR of address changes.

Occasionally one of the long term members on here will see a message posted complaining that "so-and-so has not replied to a pm, are they still active??"

One or more of us will still be in contact with so-and-so elsewhere ............ and one or more of us have been known to contact them, and say "hi, someone wants contact on GR."

We've even been known to respond to the poster on the thread.


You are also not the first to say you won't bother anyone on here again.

It is YOUR loss, not theirs!


so ................. I am NOT being nasty to you, I'm talking from experience gained on this site over many years, and offering you reasons why you might not get responses.