General Chat

Good morning :-)

Hoping David is okay.


I think there are some very confused churchgoers around at the moment Dermot - from all denominations. :-S :-S (and some very confused priests) ;-)

For today:

On the table side by side
The Holy Bible and the T.V. Guide.
One is well worn, yet cherished with pride,
But that one is not the Bible, it's the T.V. Guide.

One is used daily to help folks decide,
No! it isn't the Bible, it's the T.V. Guide.
As the pages are turned what shall they see?
Oh! it doesn't matter, just turn on the T.V.

Then confusion is started, for they can't all agree
On what they shall watch on the old T.V.
So they refer to the book in which they all confide
But it isn't the Bible, it's the T.V. Guide.

The Word of God is seldom read.
Maybe a verse before they fall into bed.
Exhausted and sleepy and tired as can be,
Not from reading the Bible, but from watching T.V.

Then back to the table side by side,
The Holy Bible and the T.V. Guide.
No time for prayer, No time for the Word.
The plan of salvation is seldom heard.

Forgiveness of sin so full and free
We find in the Bible and not on T.V.

Cx :-)

Hello all

Plans to return to the Holy Communion service next Sunday. No plans to return to hymn singing though.

Strange times indeed. Stay safe everyone.

Anyone know where David is as he hasn't popped in here for quite a long time. Just hope that he is ok.

I have a feeling that the congregation this morning came away after the service more confused than ever.

A long meandering sermon using a dodgy microphone on the expected 'return to normal' - whatever that is.

Unprecedented chaos more likely.

Good morning :-)


The Collect (special prayer) for today:

Almighty God,
who called your Church to bear witness
that you were in Christ reconciling the world to yourself:
help us to proclaim the good news of your love,
that all who hear it may be drawn to you;
through him who was lifted up on the cross,
and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, now and for ever. Amen.


The Gospel for today:

Matthew 18. 15-20
Jesus said to his disciples, ‘If another member of the church sins
against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are
alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one.
But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with
you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two
or three witnesses. If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it
to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the
church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax-collector.
Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in
heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything
you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For
where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among
them.’

Cx :-)

:-D :-D :-D :-D

Good morning :-)


Hi Tabitha - don't work too hard! :-D


The end of our light-hearted week....


A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river”.

With even greater emphasis, he said “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”

Finally, he said, “And if I had all the whisky in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.” He sat down.

The organist, very cautiously and with a smile announced, “Our next hymn is No. 365 – Shall we Gather at the River?”.



Cx :-)

Hope everyone is keeping well - just a flying visit - sorry so busy here doing a 12 hour day most days. I am sure it will slow down a bit soon.

Take care all

Good morning.. :-)

Good to know that you are enjoying the smiles :-D


The Lord is my programmer, I shall not crash.

He installed His software on the hard disk of my heart. All of His commands are user friendly.

His directory guides me to the right choices for His name's sake.

Even though I scroll through the problems of life, I will fear no bugs, for He is my back-up.

His password protects me. He prepares a menu before me in the presence of my enemies.

His help is only a keystroke away.

Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life and my file will be merged with His and saved forever. – Amen


Cx :-)

I agree Emma. Thank you Cynthia. It's good to start the day with a smile. :-)

Cynthia a hidden talent of making people happy <3 :-)

Hello all

Bright and sunny here today..... it's a blessing.

Thanks for the funny postings Cynthia. It's good to share our smiles.

Have a Happy Thursday and take care everyone.

Good morning :-)

~~~~~ waves to Emma :-D



Continuing our light-heated week.

On Christmas afternoon, the vicar’s wife dropped into an easy chair saying, "Boy! Am I ever tired."

Her husband (the vicar), looked over at her and said, "I had to conduct two special services last night, three today, and give a total of five sermons. Why are you so tired?"

"Dearest," she replied, "I had to listen to all of them."


Cx :-)

Afternoon all,

Cynthia I love that :-)

Good morning :-)


On a very cold, snowy Sunday in February, only the pastor and one farmer arrived at the village church. The pastor said, "Well, I guess we won't have a service today." The farmer replied: "Pastor, even if only one cow shows up at feeding time, I feed it."



Cx :-)

Good morning :-)

I can imagine how you feel Gwyn and it sounds as though it all went well.

Our town, which used to have over 30 parishes, is now divided into 'Hubs' ......... shudders. I have yet to meet a happy person. Anyway, the hub in which I worship has 7 churches, out of which, 1 (the one I attend normally) is open for private prayer twice a week and another is open for an hour on a Sunday. One may attend this service or zoom. I have zoomed a few times, but it is not for me which saddens me immensely. Much too casual, much too chaotic for me to gain anything from it. No sign of communion in our hub yet. So........

I have taken myself off to the main church in the town centre where communion is offered, the service is conducted in a reverent and worshipful way and I come away 'fed'. I will still support the church I have been attending as much as I can, but I simply cannot take the 'dumbing down' of everything. All this has caused much soul searching and heartache at a time when I hoped to be gradually settling into my new way of life. Hey ho.

On to our light-hearted week :-D


The Vicar of a church was poorly one Sunday morning, so another clergyman was asked to cover.
As the substitute clergyman was greeting the congregation, he made the statement, "You know, a substitute vicar is like a piece of cardboard in a broken window. He fills the space, but after all, he's not the real glass." He then proceeded with his sermon.

After the service, a lady approached him trying to pay him a compliment by saying, "You weren't a replacement after all. You were a real pane." :-D


Cx :-)

An outdoor service in the grounds of the main parish church for us yesterday.
The weather was kind and I could feel the warm sunshine, although there was a gentle breeze too.

And.... we sang hymns. Some of the choir were dotted around the grounds with their family groups, so that added to the sound.
We were all distanced from one another and were told we could sing quietly, but meaningfully... It was good.
Afterwards everyone chatted. It was lovely to see everyone again.

Hello all

A dry but cloudy and cool B H Monday today.

Morning Praise in church yesterday but much too and cold/windy to stand about and chat to others outside after this was over.

Talk of HC service taking place 12th September, with obvious precautions in place to make this as safe for us all as possible given the Covid 19 is still around.

Enjoy your day, whatever you're are planning to do.

Good morning :-)

That was an interesting comment Dermot. I have head of Holy Days of Obligation but am not familiar with them. I googled. I have saved the page for further reading. Thank you. :-D


As we are reaching the end of what tends to be known as 'The Silly Season', a light-hearted week for us........enjoy!

There is the story of a Sunday School teacher who asked her group of children if anyone could quote the entire 23rd Psalm. A golden-haired, four-and-a-half-year-old girl was among those who raised their hands.

A bit sceptical, the teacher asked if she could really quote the entire psalm.
The little girl came to the front of the room, faced the class, made a perky little bow, and said, “The Lord is my shepherd, that’s all I want.”

She bowed again and went and sat down.

That may well be the greatest interpretation of the 23rd Psalm ever heard.


Cx :-)

'Holy Days of Obligation' - a familiar expression adhered to by many of my fellow Catholics of times gone by.

It's sadly missed at the moment.

Good morning :-)


Good to see you again Sylvia..... :-D


The Collect (special prayer) for today:

Cx Almighty God,
whose only Son has opened for us
a new and living way into your presence:
give us pure hearts and steadfast wills
to worship you in spirit and in truth;
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.


Cx :-)