General Chat

Hi everyone, I am really tired so apologise for all the emails and pms I owe replies to, am juggling things at the mo and it's stressful, o.h. only went back to work yesterday after the weekend, and took the car so I couldn't go out and do what I had arranged to do, which was move some stuff I had in storage, the shed it is in has to come down as it is rotten and the chap I rented it from hasn't been very fair, he said I could go back to it afterwards and they would find somewhere for my things while it was done, when I called the other day he said diffferently and apparently because there is asbestos in the shed so it will cost more to remove, he says he will probably have to put the charges up and doesn't know when it will be ready. A friend has agreed I can put the things in her garage temporarily while I sort something else out but it is hardly my fault the shed was so bad, I couldn't see the outside at the back where it is rotten, as it was lined inside so am now back where I started really. Bit of a waste of time, I was hoping to use it as a sorting area as it was within a yard so not in public view as most garages are. Have to bring the things to my friends garage a few doors up but only when o.h. is out so he doesn't know, and she has her house for sale so is only a matter of time till she goes, altho she is asking a lot for the bungalow so might be a while yet, I hope. She is only moving out of boredom so not a major problem if there is a delay while she tries to get the price she wants.
Anyway, must try and do it today or tomorrow so there is no hassle from landlord and so will say goodnight and wish you all a better day today, love and hugs
Lizxxx

Claire, I hear your frustration with being up in the night. It is SO familiar.
Gareth and Sarah both do night performances too. They have both slept much better since I bought them a trampoline 2 weeks ago, and they can wear off energy before going to bed.
I am fit to be tied over the trampoline, their absent father has announced this weekend that he has bought them one and he wants them to have the one HE bought, which he says he can't take back. He walked out on their visit on the w/e because of anger that I had bought one. Now he's wanting Colleen to dismantle this one and put up his!! I don't want to be in the middle of the situation either, but he's already called me (first time in 4 years). I can feel my blood pressure mounting even as I write this. Anxiety was always a big issue where he was concerned, waiting for the next blow-up.
As far as I am concerned the important thing is that the children NEED to bounce, they are what should be the focus. he should be grateful they have it, he never mentioned he'd bought one until Mary told him they got one.
Sorry to rant, it's all about his wanting control.
I've had a long sleep and am somewhat less stiff this morning. Not going to garden before work, don't want to add further aches and pains to the collection.
Colin thanks, Gareth just loves to move to music and gravitates towards it. At the church, they have a drummer and some percussion some weeks, and he is always trying to get up there with them, wants to be part of the group. He loves to link arms with Em and do leg-kicks to music (like the chimney sweeps in Mary poppins, he knows all their 'moves' and dances with them.)
Alison I hope you are feeling a bit better today. When I was grieving for my father and one son, several years after the fact, a counsellor had me write a letter to my Dad to say all the things I thought were left unsaid. It WAS very cathartic, and healing began. I still remember him, but now am more inclined to think of happy or humourous memories. I still struggle with the loss of my son, especially as the date nears.
Thinking of you all, can't write a long list, you know who you are, just don't want to leave anyone out.
hugs
Mary

Hi, nice to see all the newish posts. Thank you for your kind thought, Claire.
Yesterday I wrote quite a long message in answer to Alison in Oz but managed to delete it. I hit "Reply" instead of "Submit" and it was gone.
Alison, I think it's a lovely idea to talk to your deceased parents etc. I have also been told that you can even write them a letter. This is something I haven't done, but might one day.
What an amazing coincidence about the dragonfly. I can understand your excitement.
I think both Liz and Eileen are right about wasps. When a bee stings, it leaves the barb and the stinging organ itself behind, and the bee is so badly injured that it dies, or so the folk tale goes. Wasps are different. They inject venom. My guess is that the venom is formic acid, and when it is localised it is incredibly painful, but when sucked out as described by Liz it is diluted so much by the saliva that you scarcely taste it. That's my twopence worth, anyway.
Mary, young Gareth seems to be making progress with a capital P! I loved his obsession with lining up the water bottles. Sure, it's not "normal" but it kept him happy. Same with helping with his spade. I bet he loved being on stage with everyone watching, if he was aware of this. I know that sometimes he would be in a little world of his own.
I smiled at Deanna's complaint about the cold. I have felt a bit miserable but not depressed as we have had a lot of grey days recently, but today was sunny and 23. The warmest day this month! Low 70s for those in Farenheit lands. But cooler whether is coming as it's only 7 day to June!
Commiserations to Gail. I wish your cold-flu would go away. And Hazel- any news of your (her) move? Colin

Thanks Mary and Claire. It's nice to know that other people understand and accept that these things do happen. Hello Gail, hope you are feeling better.

Alison

Alison, that is so lovely. It just goes to show how the very special people in our lives stay with us forever even if we cannot be with them.
Mary it is always fun and games in your house, I can just imagine Gareth meticuiously transferring the soil with his teaspoon.

We have had a peaceful weekend, little boy has been on his short break scheme for three nights so have all caught up on such much needed sleep. Just as well because he has been awake since 1.30 am I have given up trying to settle him off to sleep again so we have come downstairs and he is watching the previews on Playhouse disney tv channel and is a happy boy and a very noisy one, just hope he doesnt wake everyone else up. So that is it for me for sleep tonight, no chance whatsoever of him settling down and the little darlings are off school for Whit. He (and me) are going to be very cranky later on in the day.
glad the email made you smile Eileen, we were in stitches here when we were reading them.
Deanna, that is good news about the hospital, you seem to be doing so very well.
Hope Ann is having a lovely holiday (again!!) and that the weather is good for them.
Gail, how are you are you recovered from the nasty flu bug?
Lily, I am so sorry that you are having a hard time of things, thinking of you xx
Liz, did you have a good holiday weekend?
Carole I am looking forward to Sat xx
Dutch, you looking after yourself, you better be!!!
Hello Colin, hope you are well?
Treehunter any news on your move, it seems so long I am sure you must be fed up with all the waiting.
Right now as usual I bet ive forgotten people but forgive me its very late and im tired ,boo hoo.
It was my hubbies birthday a couple of weeks ago and three kind souls bought him a bottle of whisky, now that is the one drink he is not very nice with so he has been a grumpy so and so. Not good, I will be glad when he has drunk them.
Puppy was at the vets last week to get his bits chopped, he was very naughty and kept on mounting lady dogs when we were out, not good. He now has a big cone around his head to stop him picking the stitches an the vet has said not to walk him much so he is like a caged animal and is missing his walks as am I.
Anyway, off to get myself a cup of coffee now, I think I am going to need the caffiene!!
Love to you all
Claire xxx
Edit
Oh Gail you poor thing, you posted as I was writing. I hope you get better quickly xxxx

Sorry people for not being on again, have copped another dose of flu, sore throat and achy joints, fever etc etc. Been hitting the vitamin C and an immune booster, which I take all the time but upped the C a bit more. Winter is not for a few days yet.

Just so sick of myself.

Gail

I am a total klutz !!
Been in the garden most of the day, weeding and planting and separating perennials / replanting. Colleen has removed sod to create a veggie patch in a better location that we tried last year. So this evening we are filling the space with new topsoil, she's filling the wheelbarrow and I'm raking the soil to perfection. Suddenly Megan yells "quick,Mum, you've got to see this". i turned quickly and promptly spread-eagled myself among a dozen metal tomato cages. For a few minutes I wasn't sure if any part of me was intact, but there's one advantage - they got me a garden chair and I sat down to rest. battered and bruised, and stiff, but hopefully nothing which will limit my gardening tomorrow, before work.
After my upheaval, Gareth started helping Mummy fill the wheelbarrow, using a huge spade, he transferred teaspoonsful of soil into the barrow. became a long process but he persisted for a good 20 minutes, ( a long time for him to concentrate) then distinguished himself by sitting down in the middle of the new garden bed - in wet clothes because his sisters had been having a water-gun chase and he was the target..
The urgent call from Megan was apparently to see the cat in the window!! Liz - she was excited to receive a b'day card today. But I have to explain the surnames in our house sometime. It's confusing as I took my maiden name back after divorce, my daughter Colleen took her maiden name back after her divorce also, so she and Megan are now the same!! But not the same as me!!
Got to get in the shower and aim some hot water on a few specific spots.
Night all
mary

How lovely Alison, that will be a lovely reminder for you,and pretty as well.
My late mother was an ardent stamp collector, and since her death we have many times found an odd stamp in strange places, like out on the lawn, by the washing machine, in drawers, on the floor by the bed. Even my grandchildren now say that their gtgmo is leaving them a hug, when they find a stamp. On one occasion, I was facing a huge pile of papers, feeling overwhelmed by the task, avoiding it for days, then one morning there was a stamp on the floor by the table, I heard myself say "OK Mum, I'll DO it". . . . . . .
Have a hug,
Mary

Don't really know where to put this but I'd hate to be made fun of on the chat boards (there are some that would I think). Feeling sad as I wrote last night so was having a chat to my Mum and Dad quietly. I asked Mum before she passed to let me know when she was around me. Last night I also had a chat to my late parents-in-law as I do sometimes too. I mentioned how lovely it would be to see a purple dragonfly and asked if 'they' could show me one. I quite like dragonflies and I love the colour purple. Today I was down the street and popped into the health food shop which also sells gift lines. What should I see but a beautiful purple glass dragonfly. It's quite small and trimmed with gold. I couldn't believe it but didn't buy it! Told my husband about it when I went back to the car, went and did a few other things then went back to the shop and bought it after all. The little verse on the box was headed, 'Daughter-in-law'. The lady in the shop checked her stock and it was the last one there! So glad I bought it and it made me feel a lot better.

Dear Alison what a difficult month for you.
I lost my parents 24 years apart, but always remember both on their b'days and anniversaries of wedding and death. Just because we can't see them any longer, we don't stop caring.
But we have to live too, despite these sad reminders. I feel for you, it's so easy to say get on with it, but much more difficult to accomplish. Just know you're not alone, your sorrow is shared by many, around the world.
group hug for Alison,
love
Mary

I'm feeling a bit sad and a bit relieved today. I'm sad because it's my Mum's birthday and I can't see her in person anymore. I'm relieved because the worst 4 weeks in the year is over now. It started with the 1st anniversaries of my Mum going to hospital, Dad's b'day, Mums passing, Dads passing, joint funeral, then mother's day and then today Mum's b'day, all in the space of four weeks. What a month!

Alison

Mary, so glad the evening went fairly well,and as the parents know your family they would have not been fussed about Gareth's performance lol
Bless him, I hope there will be a way to harness his ideas and ways to give him a good future. Sarah was good too eh, bless her and so glad Emlyn enjoys her dancing so much and it makes her happy.
Well done with the water sales, and now you know how to keep G. busy you can utilise that again in other ways.

love to all
I am off to bed, I must be daft, it looks a beautiful day out there and I am going to sleep through half of it!

Lizxxxxx

Morning dear cyber firends - it's a beautifully sunny day here, bit of a nip in the breeze but lovely for working outside.
I don't have to go anywhere except taking Em to a b'day party, so the day is almost free. What a wonderful feeling. Sarah and Gareth are at the 'Y', for a day of supervised activities including swimming, or 'wimmin' as Gareth calls it.
Speaking of himself, he again distinguished himself yesterday evening. We were at Em's dance recital, Gareth had been playing up so he was taken outside into the grassy courtyard, to wear off some steam. With no warning, he suddenly bolted from the yard, through the open doors, across the hall and into the huge auditorium which was full. Raced down the carpeted ramp, up the stairs and onto the stage, where a group of 4 & 5 year olds were dancing. Stood right at the front edge of the stage and began to shimmy to the music. Talk about embarassing, his mother, poor Colleen, was in hot pursuit down the ramp when he reached the stage, said 'NO' loudly and he jumped off the stage onto her. The entire audience laughed. The dear little girls kept right on dancing!! The entire performance, both nights was absolutely stunning, Emlyn is totally immersed in the music when she performs, huge grin on her little face, where some of the children are quite mechanical, she just seems to flow with the music. It is truly her 'special time', without her sibs.
It would be so nice to go somewhere with Gareth and not have a catastrophe on our hands.LOL We sold bottled water both nights of the recital, with a pretty good response. Eventually figured out that if Gareth stayed with me at the 'water booth', he would spend almost 2 hours lining up bottles in various configurations. The labels all have to face the same way . . . .angles have to be correct . . . the distance between the bottles must be consistent - my late mother dreamed of being an architect, perhaps the gene has been passed down, if only it can be developed.
Sarah was amazingly good until almost the end, when she became restless. It was a very long time for her to sit in one place, so we are very proud of her. When the music came on for one dance, she sang along - up in the audience!! the people sitting in front of her have children at the same school as our four, so were familiar with sarah - which was a help.
I must say I was totally amazed at how the studio coreographed the entire performance, for over 300 girls. Well worth the price of admission.
I have several of you on my mind, can't list everyone as my brain is a tad foggy this morning. Just send hugs all round,
Mary

Hello to everyone, hoping that you are all ok. I havnt posted here for ages but do look in to see how you all are.
Life is good with me, no changes just enjoying feeling well and not stressing myself when i dont feel like doing anything.
Will try and add a longer post sometime soon, in the meantime sending you all lots of love and positive thoughts
Claire xxxx

Ben that is such good news.... now that you have found YOUR dead ancestor, perhaps I will find mine!
I live in hope.
Still, I have now found myself another problem...... I thrive on them ;-0).... How do I find the maiden name of an ancestor born before 1800.... no mothers names in the records!!

Ann,Liz, I am doing well and am so grateful.
I still have to see the surgeon in August... time he gave me my marching orders too.
I still have plenty to keep the medical profession busy, so please don't panic all you doctors and nurses out there.... your jobs are safe. ;-0)

I am so cold today, 8 days till June, and I'm freezing?
Never mind my friends, I will moan just as loudly and as often when the weather gets..... TOO HOT....;-0(

When I stop moaning, you will know it is time to add me to your BDM lost! ha ha ha

love to all
Deanna XXX

Oh Lily, your post brought so many very bad memories back......May God help those who were in the clutches of a 'Church'.....Terrible things happend in the name of the 'Church', it doesn't bear thinking of.....

Deanna, not too sure if we "oldies are a great generation", but certainly had to be more resourceful sometimes. The g.daugher in question had no more trouble with her foot.I managed to suck all the poison out, thank goodness.
Sorry Liz, I have to disagree about wasps not leaving a sting. Have been 'stung' more often by these rotten little blighters. The worst time was when I was nearly 8 months pregnant with the mother of the same g.daughter. My m.i.l was sleeping over with me for a week, when my ex. was on holiday with his class (school) for a week. She was as deaf as a post, so only saw me hopping around the bedroom, holding me foot (she slept in my bed with me, space being a problem with three other little ones),. The affected foot swelled up enormously, even though she applied lots of wet compresses. Wish she though of sucking the poison out back then......Have since been stung in the neck, whilst out walking my aunt's dog, in my hand whilst trying to allow a wasp to escape by holding the net curtains and opening a window (nasty b****r), and several other times. Have had nests of them in: the attic, the shed, underground, the attic and the pear tree. Also has sooo many attempts of a queen wasp trying to make a nest in my house. Strangely enough. my daugher who lives two doors down has never,ever had any problems with the yellow striped devils.When she and my youngest, plus her two small children were eating with us out in the garden, they all noticed that I alone was being attacked by wasps. GAWED, how I HATE them....Bees are another matter, never have trouble with the, thank goodness.

Must see about the evening meal, whilst I feel like it.

For all of you who need it, I am sending positive thoughts and love your way.

Eileen xx

Deanna, what lovely news that you are discharged. Well done, you must feel great about it.

Ben, glad the cert eventually arrived.

Gail hope you continue to recover in time for your visit.

Ann
Glos

I am so pleased my 10 1/2 month old grandson finally cut his first tooth, or teeth, as they all 3 teeth came at the one time, and a fourth on the way. Only 5 weeks to go now and I will be visiting daughter and family. Working hard on getting better.

Think of all of you

Gail

Hi Thistledown, sexual and physical abuse of children is also close to me. A relative was abused, from the age of seven she says, and it has certainly taken its toll. Depression, anxiety and other problems. She is a member of a national support group but I don't know how much it has helped.

The perpetrator was a relative, a married man. She is now in her late 50s, he is about 75. I think his wife still denies that anything happened.

I have talked about the issue at length with people over the years. At the moment the Catholic church is taking many hits, possibly justified. There seems to have been a culture of systematic physical abuse by the brothers and fathers in Ireland and elsewhere. In my country the orders under most scrutiny originated in Ireland, so maybe it is the same mindset.

The coverup by the hierarchy of the church is well documented, but it is not only the rockchoppers (Australian slang). In fact, we had a governor-general who had to resign over a coverup that occured while he was an Anglican bishop. Charges have recently been laid over sexual abuse by teachers at an exclusive protestant boys school. These are not celibate men. However, the phenomenon is not restricted to the clergy.

The statistics seem to show that the biggest danger to children is not strangers, but uncles, brothers and even fathers, teachers and scout masters.

Good luck with "Nobody's Child".

Going to CBT see you later

Lilly how nice to see you I'll pm you later xxx