General Chat

I may not be on here next week as i have been ask by my sister if i like to go to Cornwall for 5 days.

I could do with it, After the last few months i have had.

Wish everyone well

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}to you all.

Hazelx

Hi everyone I am back, but sorry to say I haven't read any of our thread yet. I have been back on net since Monday but somehow can't find time to do much on computer.
I notice a new name on this page, hello Alison, I haven't read your post yet but I will do, they are a lovely group of people and I have missed them so much.
Well I needed you lot a couple of weeks ago, I got so down and upset, I think it was the move has been too much for me. I couldn't get onto the internet, and isp and phone company were blaming each other, all of a sudden I was back on and no nearer to knowing why.

I was going to pm you all who sent me cards for the new flat, I was amazed at how many we got, obviously I haven't got round to it yet so thank you all.

I had a fall last Sat night and hurt my hip and knee, thought it was nothing but still hurts me so I can't sit for long.
I will be back later but have to go now.
Ben, forget the other lot and stay with us, put them out of your mind completely, they are not worth it as you know yourself.

Love and hugs to all.

Caz xx

Thanks for that purple sparkly diamond

My daugther is home safe now.She has told me all about it, and she hasnt had a very good time. Girls are ok when not together and over here.

But she is here and has a very bad cold like i have had the week.

Dont know what my son is going to do, girl is due to have his baby in next few weeks. She as a lazy cow as well, he has to pull her up from the chair now.she said she cant make a cup of tea or cook, I said to her you are only having a baby for god sake, and she isnt that big either. She said that my son is going to look after baby all nite, then she will have to try find how to cope in the day if he is out to work.
I know my son will be good with baby as he loves kids. but she needs to sort her self out. Her family is just as bad saying My son has to be there for her all the time.

{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}to you all

Hazelx

Hi

That birth cert was just to add to the tree details.

I am afraid that I will not be coming to any meetings in Norwich as there are a few people there who I have had arguments with on the other forum they are on, I wont mention its name. One or two of them were the ones who were niggling away at my family tree successes which I know I have proven beyond doubt.

I just left that forum as someone on there was ridiculing my judgements on what an ancestor did once he retired. When he did he went to live with his daughters and I was building up a fruitful picture of his retirement and she said "Maybe his daughters hated him, maybe he didnt have access to a veggie plot, maybe he was too blind to read and he probably could do no more help in the house than fly in the air". What she said was very harsh and offputting and I know that some of the members on there probably remember the argument so I left the site for good. She has said a few other things I find offensive and I was going to make a complaint but decided to leave the site completely instead.

Ben

Alison I second everything Liz has said, it's easy for people to misunderstand when someone has one of these disorders. For instance I love to garden, but when 'down' cannot even go out the door, just look outside and feel overwhelmed. Please feel free to write your thoughts on here, this is the best 'group' I've ever belonged to, feel so comfortable here, we welcome you and send you cyber hugs.
Mary (in Canada)
PS Liz - I actually got to sleep to 945am today, was asleep before midnight (the house was quiet, everyone had gone to a drive-in movie)
About to leave for work now, have done nothing outside, but been and bought a trampoline for the children which should be set up by tomorrow. Also bought multiple cases of bottled water, to sell (fundraising again) at Em's dance recital next Thursday and Friday. The recital lasts about 4 hours there are so many types of dance to perform. Last year they sold over 500 bottles at $1 each, this year are allowing us to sell for our autism service dog endeavour.
TTFN

Thankyou Liz, our girl has a good group of friends and does socialise. It's like she has her comfort zone (don't we all) and doesn't want to expand too much. When we go on holidays for example if there are kids around her age she won't bring attention to herself in case they might want to talk to her or hang out. At the same time, there is a new girl arriving at her school on Monday and she can't wait to meet her and is hoping she will be part of her group. Had no problems this year when she started high school making new friends from other primary schools to add to her existing group. Both boys and girls. We do encourage her to branch out a bit and she's come from being chronically shy with kids and adults alike to being happy with her mates and even older folk. She loves to talk to a few older ladies I go to the pool with. There are just times we see her not putting herself out there when she could and should be. We' ll get there. :-)

Thankyou for your support.
Alison xx

Liz, thanks, nice to 'speak' to you. Strangely I would be quite happy to be here on my own as it is so friendly, although of course I would rather be with T.

Ann
Glos

Alison, Well done for putting all that down on this thread, I hope it has helped you, as I feel certain it has. Please feel free to come on here and off-load your thoughts any time, none of us on this thread are judgemental and we unbderstand how you feel. You are obviously a wonderful wife to your poor husband who is so aware of his problems but unable to do anything to combat them. At least there is a small success if he drives you to places in the van and goes to the grocery store with you. I have a friend who is agrophobic and she is always 'safe' if she has a bolt hole, either a house where she is staying, a hotel room, or a caravan or car so maybe that is why your husband feels safe driving the van.

I hope your young daughter will not follow her dad all you can do is what you are doing, encourage her to have friends and go out where possible.

Again, please come back and talk to us and well done for coming on here.

Ann
Glos

Alison, how brave of you to tell us the story of your family, I am sure you and your husband will get through because of your love for each other and your daughter will be ok too, so long as you try to encourage her to mix as much as possible if it doesn't stress her too much. Might it help your husband to look at some support sites for the same problems as him, he might find a cyber buddy to talk to on line, he could use a different name so he is anonymous in a way.
Do come back here and talk with us too, we all have our various problems, mine is hoarding, ocd type, and that has affected my life so much especially in the last 15 years.
I have to get off the computer now and get out to the shops but will try and answer you further later on.

take care, and as long as your love stays strong for each other, you will get on ok. My best wishes to your husband and daughter, and yourself.
Lizxx

Have been sitting and reading some of this thread feeling very sad for people but also very proud of them. My husband thought I should write too. I live with mental illness, not mine but his. We moved to this town in 2003 because we couldn't afford the mortgage on our small acreage. 'B' basically quit his job and we moved here so he had to look for work. That was fine except when an offer came up he couldn't do it, after talking to his job advisor she told him to see his GP. As a result of that he was sent to a psychiatrist who diagnosed him with social phobia and anxiety disorder. He was eventually assessed and is now on a disbility pension. The Dr gave him no medication and stopped seeing him after a few months. All that was in 2004. Last year he had to have a review for his pension which meant a new psychiatrist who listened to him. He was given a new diagnosis of panic disorder and agoraphobia. 'B' takes paroxetine ('Aropax') (40mgs) every day and also has clomazepam which he takes on an as needs basis, mostly a couple of days before he sees his GP.

His Dr told him that he has had these conditions all of his life and in hindsight we have been seeing symptons for a long time. B doesn't often leave home. He spends mosts days in the house and garden. He does come grocery shopping with me mainly because I told him a couple of years ago that he needed to get out of the house. He also has no trouble driving if we need to go somewhere. we take our van away in school holidays and it's not too bad for him.

One of the saddest things I have ever heard was when he told me he'd love to have a friend. He'd had friends long ago who had to give up when he was married (not to me). Through that marriage his friends were her friend's husbands and he didn't think much of most of them so only had a couple of friends and no-one who he was close too.

Some of the hardest things to do are to explain to a child why Daddy can't come to assembly at school, why he can't watch her in a play at school, why he couldn't see her get an award. She's now almost 13 and understands that Dad's mind isn't quite like ours and he can't handle situations with people. She stopped asking about 3 years ago for him to come to school. He couldn't even come to see her at the end of her Year 6 farewell. Whilst he was by my side at my Mum and Dad's funeral last May, afterwards he spent most of his time outside while I spoke to people because he just couldn't do it.

I do all the appointment making for him, I have permission to talk to any department, medical centre etc about him. I come to appointments at the GP and Drs with him. Partly for support and partly because he won't always remember things he's told. I do all of the banking, most of what needs to be done on the phone and pretty much everything else thqat involves dealing with people. He can't drop off or pick up our daughter from some friend's place becasue he knows the parents will ask him in for a cuppa and he just can't do it.

He feels that he drags me down. I am not a particularly social person and sometimes I feel and he feels that I am a bit like him and it worries him. Our girl would rather spend time with us when she should be hanging out with her friends, she was chroncially shy when younger and stills is a bit now until she is really comfortable with someone. He worries that she'll be like him too. He loves for me to go out and see people, go to the pool and to school etc because then he knows that I'm not 'stuck at home' with him.

B also has very high blood pressure and take medication for that and that gets him down too, he hates taking pills. It can be very hard for me but I know it's so much harder for him. He spent years just simply avoiding social situations so he wouldn't have to talk to people. Very large gatherings were bit easier then small ones because you can lose yourself in a crowd. Looking back he has been doing this like this since he was a very small child. His dear late mother was very similar.

I love my husband more than life itself and would do anything to help him. Before me, had had thought about suicide but I'm gald to say that since he's been with me (1990) he doesn't think that. He tells me that he wouldn't be here now without me and while I don't like to hear him say that I know it's true. His three adult children don't know although one nows part of it. From past conversations we know they wouldn't understand just yet. They thought it funny when he told them he was a recluse. He was serious, a recluse is someone who avoids people. One day they will know, when the time is right.

I only have one person apart from B who I can talk to this about and she has her own problems so really I don't talk about it much or about how it affects me. Sometimes it just wears me down so much, but then, I look at my beautiful man who means the worlds to me, we have each other and out girl and that's what counts. Thanks for 'listening',

Alison

Margaret of Kent thanks for the pm. Hope you are doing okay, I'll look out for you on the boards. Hope to see you on here again x

Hazel, you're getting it all coming at you at the mo aren't you? Hope your daughter will get home ok and will be able to get all her things together, what horrible friends she has. And your poor son, needs to dump that girl I think if she and her family are going to put such pressures on him, that's not the way to happiness.

Mary I hope Colleen is feeling better and you are finding the energy to get to work and last the shift, will you be able to get some sleep to get you through these four days with the children at home so much? I do hope so.
Ann, nice to see you posting from your holiday 'home' and hope you continue to enjoy yourself. Would love to go away to some warm weather where I could just relax but won't happen this year, can't get him on a plane for love or money and I haven't the cash to go on my own, anyway no fun alone in a foreign country is it?
Gail, hope you are feeling much better, and anyone else feeling low.

Hope our Lily and Eileen and all, are ok.
Must get to bed in a bit, so will wish you all a good day
love
Lizxxx

Hi ALL

Just popped in, was very worried last nite got a call from my daugther who is on hoilday with her so called friends in Turkey. They all had a row and wouldnt let her back into the room anymore. so had to sleep on a chair down stairs in hotel

So we have got her a flight home tonite. Had to pay again as she was to come home Monday nite.

She is also ill, which dont help.

Had son on the phone also from my son be for very upset as girlfriends family trying to make him marry her, but he dont want to yet, he did tell her that he dont want to marry.

Plus now tryin to make him go oversea on holiday, he cant cope with the hot weather over here, today was far to hot for him, so how the hell do they think he will cope over there..

Sorry for going on about silly little things, But when my kids are upset because of someone else it makes me so mad/
Can do what they like to me but not my kids.

(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))for everyone who needs them

Hazel x

Mary, I am sure force of habit will kick in when you get to work. But no onder you are so tired, anyone would be with all your family problems. Sorry to see that Coleen was so poorly and that your fund raiser didn't go as well as you expected. I am sure that one way or another you will eventually raise the money you need.

Carol we return on 30th. We are north of Puerto de la Cruz at El Durazno.

Ben, at least you had the birth certificate, did it solve any queries for you or was it just to tidy up the records?

Gail,glad you are beginning to feel like eating and hope you enjoyed the soup, it sounds moreish (as my Mum used to say).

Deanna, hope all went well with Alan's scan.

Everyone else, hi, not so warm this afternoon here, quite breezy and cool in fact so have been on the pc a bit more. Still it can't be sunny all the time.

Ann
Glos

Mary, I am sure force of habit will kick in when you get to work. But no onder you are so tired, anyone would be with all your family problems. Sorry to see that Coleen was so poorly and that your fund raiser didn't go as well as you expected. I am sure that one way or another you will eventually raise the money you need.

Carol we return on 30th.

Ben, at least you had the birth certificate, did it solve any queries for you or was it just to tidy up the records?

Gail,glad you are beginning to feel like eating and hope you enjoyed the soup, it sounds moreish (as my Mum used to say).

Deanna, hope all went well with Alan's scan.

Everyone else, hi, not so warm this afternoon here, quite breezy and cool in fact so have been on the pc a bit more. Still it can't be sunny all the time.

Ann
Glos

Mornin'
my daughter Meg has severe panic attacks, usually ends up passing clean out. very scary to watch, I used to have them when driving but recently seem to be better in that area. Anxiety is the big thing for me, and some of it is totally self-inflicted, anxiety about opening envelopes or emails which contain an invoice, even if the funds are available to deal with it.
gail that's not cheating, it's cooperation and good time management. If you have a gizmo to chop and shred, use it, it saves your energy . . .

I'm back to work this evening for a four- day stretch, currently sitting here yawning, with my aching joints, right hand is twice the size of the left one today, just falling apart. Just have zero motivation to move OR to go to work. It's a long weekend here so the kids are home for 4 days straight.
Give me strength,I'll need it. gareth is becoming much more of a handful, due to his frustration and outbursts. Elmo will be a big help to him. Sarah has been quite calm the past 2 days, now she's without programming for 4 days.
I feel like I am in a slump, someone kick my back-side to get me moving, all I want to do is sleep.
Have a great day all.
Mary

Carole, I cheat with cooking. OH does most of the peeling and then I feed it through the Kitchen Wiz for soup. Even at my lowest I still managed to cook OH a meal, so grateful I have a dishwasher though as would not manage.

I had a panic attack last night, could not stop coughing or get a decent breath, could not find my ventolin, panicked really badly, had it in my pocket didn't I!!!

Soup is ready, and I am actually hungry for a change so off to eat.

Gail

Hi
I have not read all the threads but i dont think we realise how many of us suffer from some form of panic attacks depression ect , i went though a spell 2 years ago i didnt want to go out on my own as i thought something would happen to me i saw a councellor which yes to some point helped i was on medication but cant remember which one.
I am a lot better now but because of my back problems i have to have some one with me anyway , i will go back to reading a few more threads.
Margharet xxxx

I'm fed up. I feel alone at times, even though there are four of us in this house. oh has to be up early so goes to bed early. He was asleep when I went to bed (early) at ten past ten last night. I can't cuddle him for long anyway as he gets so hot in bed. He makes me too hot. So last night I lay there thinking about my problem, while he was snoring. When he is awake he talks about football and he knows I am not interested. Why can't he shut up and try to listen for a bit? I have given up, and so don't talk much at home. I am well known for talking none stop at work! ha ha
My son hardly speaks to any of us. So I'm fed up!!!

Have to take my car for a service this morning. It's raining and I was going to walk into town. Don't want to do that now. Don't know what to do, as I don't get on busses incase I need the loo sudenly.


Gail you sound a lot better now if you are stood cooking all that. xx

EDIT / I have phoned and made an appointment to see my doctor I feel so shaky and tearful now! So half four this afternoon.
Might not get to call you again Liz.

Margaret the panic attacks are horrible aren't they. They can be beaten though I did it. How are you now with them?

Have not caught up with posts yet, difficult to focus with coughing and headaches. I have not been able to get on my exercise bike for nearly 6 weeks, so have a huge amount to catch up with, so am able to regain some fitness. NO, I am not a fitness fanatic, it helps me keep some mobility, which at the moment is not much. I am also not happy, have hardly eaten anything for the past few weeks and I put on 2 kilos. So, how does that happen???

I have just put a huge pot of pea and ham soup on to cook. It was my fathers receipt, handed down from his mum, so good to have in the family. So guess what we are having eat for the weekend. Leftovers are frozen. We usually have our own pumpkins, but they did not grow this year, OH was able to pick some up very cheap, so next week it is pumpkin soup.

Because I was sick, I was not able to take advantage of a glut of eggs and zucchini to make lazy quiche, usually make up two baking dishes of it, cut it in squares then freeze for OH for work, as keep up to 3 months in freezer.

Love and hugs

Gail