General Chat

Liz I'm so proud of you, passing on books, that's an attack on the clutter pile. As much as I try I always seem to have piles too. Cleared off my dining room table yesterday looked very nice with just a plant in the centre, now it has papers, laundry being folded - and one black cat , (who has eaten one of the plant leaves). I give up.
off to chauffeur the kids to school. Emlyn missed the final competition yesterday. very upset, but she's now waiting for an ultrasound of her shoulder and has to be in a sling until it's done next week. Poor child, she's worked so hard at her dance classes, then to miss the final.
off I go, have a good day all.
Mary

Deanna, never mind, next time they go give me a shout and I will give you my number for Karen and Tony to call me, I could pass on some books for you lol Sounds as tho Tony gets his love of books from you, my son does do some reading but doesn't have a lot of time with two jobs on the go bless him.

Having a pleasant weekend so far, must get to bed now
night all

love
Lizxx

Hi

Deanna, I would have been so glad to help you when I was in Durham.

I am still trying to prove the baptism of my ancestor William Wilson born about 1820 in St Helen Auckland, son of John and Ann, according to the 1841 census and his 1842 marriage cert. Auckland. I didnt get time to look at the St Helen Auckland PRs there. The FamilySearchRecordSearch has the Bishops Transcripts online but I cannot find his baptism. I wonder if the BTs missed a few entries.

He was a coal miner until about the mid 1880s when he somehow retired and lived with his married daughter. He lived until 1902.

Ben

Dutch... Joyce, don't spoil me...
I LIKE IT. ;-0)
Although just getting the damned thing started is taking longer than typing!!

And Liz I am so sorry. I did not even THINK of you when they went to the caravan.
It might have been a good time for you to meet my Tony, as he is shy, and having Karen with him she would have broken the ice.
They are on the way home now.
I think Tony needed to see the place first and then perhaps he will feel better about going again.
No TV and just the two of them would give them a little peace perhaps.
Tony loves to read and owns more books than *your average library*... ha ha ha .... AND reads them.
The peace would perhaps have given Karen the time to finish her book.... she has been at it a while she says.
Between Work, marking homework ,TV programmes they may want to watch and everything else in her life, it has taken her ages. She loves thrillers,and on TV she is deeply in love with *LEWIS*. ;-0)

We have a wash in the dryer, and it has been there for three/four days.
we just switched it on AGAIN to give it an iron and I think my 'laundry man' has gone to sleep!
No. He says he is awake.
SO. I am off to sort the wash.

I hope you are all well and more than that.... HAPPY.

LIZ, CAROLE, MARY, HAZEL, JOYCE, BEN, COLIN, ANN, FOREVER MYSTIFIED.... WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME?.... AND ALL THOSE I HAVE MISSED OUT.

lots of love to you and have a great day.
Deanna XXXX

GoodMorning All
Liz know offence taken your probly right Deanna has loverly voice,such anice lady to talk to,take care everyone
Dutchxx

Deanna, I hope I made you laugh - wasn't being critical, you do so well and it's easy to type something that doesn't quite sound the way you want it, now when you can speak everything onto here it will be brilliant, or have you a strong accent? Will things get spelled the way you speak lol? Have no idea how that gizmo of yours will work.
No offence, Dutch, but imagine you with one of those that you speak into, it would go into overdrive lol Probably would burn out in double quick time with me too so who am I to laugh?

Deanna, it is a dreadful problem, the hoarding, especially if you can't see it as a problem which I can myself but still can't cope with sorting out things. It would do untold damage if you were able to clear all the things tho, probably send her into a breakdown perhaps, I can't tell you how stressful it is if someone touches my things - it's embarrassing the way it freaks me out altho I am sure K gets rid of some things when I am not about, even tho he knows how it distresses me, yet it distresses him to have the things around as he is one who gets rid of things quickly, and has to have everything easily accessible or in a certain place as he has a bad memory problem.
I had to laugh yesterday,our local supermarket is closing to change from Somerfied to Budgens, and they were selling stuff off cheaply so he got lots of tins of food at half price, and the cupboards are groaning. He went to some other shops too and showed me that in the 99p shop he had got some bargains, some lovely soft plastic wire that bends to shape for tying in plants etc and a pack of 4 balls of string, bargain he said, as he took them to the shed to put away (shed being a very organised place) Then he said sadly, Don't know if I really needed these or will use them, maybe I am becoming a bit of a hoarder ! And honestly I am sure that's the way I started, like a woman on Gok Wan's programme the other day who would buy clothes because they were a bargain even if they didn't quite fit, that's me to a t, well it was till I ran out of money so can't do it! All psychological stuff!
What a shame you didn't tell Tony and K to catch up with some Norfolk friends of yours, like me who spoke to T. so often when you were poorly, where are they in the area, on the coast? The weather has been ok Sat, not too warm but dry and only showers forecast over the next couple of days - hope they enjoy themselves and it is a break for T from her clutter. You would be surprised how much stuff I used to get into our small caravan which we had for a few years tho but it was stored by the coast and we would go most weekends so I could leave things there ready.
I did say to T if he ever wanted to talk to me about the hoarding I would listen and try to help suggest help K could get but as you say it has to be recognised first.
Try not to let it upset you too much.

Enjoy the Bank Holiday weekend, everyone

Lizxx

Dutch (Joyce) please tell Carole that I am thinking of her.
[ Don't tell her this , but, I hope she will get more help than she seems to be getting.
Believe me Joyce, she does not need to be suffering the pain she seems to be suffering.]

BUT... tell her or Phil , this bit...
She MUST speak to the doctor because she does not need to be in such pain.
God love her, she has just got her lovely little flat and should be enjoying it.

Can't talk about anything else now, my mind is too wrapped up in Carole now.... xx

Deanna XXX

Hello All
was talking to Y/Caz before our friend is in alot apain and the morphin is,nt helping and she thinks when she goes for results on weds there going to tell her the cancer has spread,i do pray with all my heart it has,nt,and shes so down not beening able to talk to her friends on here,BT are telling her its Supanet and there telling her its BT,there just fobbing her off,ive told her when she goes on weds just think were all bye your side ive got your hand in mine,and i promise i wont let go,so im thinking postive for you my friend and im always here for you as your friends on here are,try to stay strong love i no how hard it is for you in so much pain,take care
Love Dutchxx
ps And i wish you all better days aheadxx

Liz, I pride myself on being a good communicator.... but you went and proved me WRONG......
I did not mean I wanted Ben to search for me in Durham.... but to do a search for me when he is in Durham!! ha ha ha.... what an eejit I am.

And as far as OCD and collecting goes.... , well you know that We have someone in our family who could do with a bit of help.... BUT.... she would first have to admit that she needed help.
NOTHING I have been able to say, in the nicest possible way, could persuade her that she has a problem.
She has a *good reason * for all that she collects, which is I suppose the beginning and end of the problem.
There has to be an end to it though.
Like any other addiction, if it affects the lives of your loved ones, then something has to be tried, surely?
I could not cope with her, and if I had any strength, which I do not have, I( would take it into my own hands and CLEAR IT ALL OUT!!
I do realise that is a bit harsh, but it is killing my son.
Should I be voicing this opinion behind her back? Perhaps not, but I am so worried.
I no longer go near the house as I would just *lose it* and perhaps find myself in trouble with my son. He is in a bad way about it, but getting in between them is hardly the answer is it?
Well, I am off for my coffee now and watch the end of a film which Allan has been watching. Baracus I think he said.

Tony and Karen have gone to Norfolk in her parents caravan for the week end...... hope it's a HUGE one, she she could fill it in 10 minutes flat......
My apologies to all those with this problem. Just remember that while I have every Right way for YOU to behave.... My problems remain unresolved. ;-0)
Have a great weekend all of you and if I did not mention you, it is merely because I have too much to say... when I get the via voice fixed up, there will be no shutting me up.
Love to all,
Deanna XXX

Mary, how alike we are, I put things off all the time and also function better under pressure so I am sure your 'function' will be fine and there will be enough for everyone and plenty to go round.
What a shame I can't whizz over to you and open those envelopes, see I am very good at organising other people but can't do my own lol
I did manage to organise the chap to go and cut the wisteria off the roof of my house, neighbour left me a note saying someone from the council had been round about it, it's not her making the complaints, but someone not affected and I know who, it's the evil woman who used to damage my car when she walked by, can you wonder I have a block about sorting out the house and moving back there? If she left the street I would feel so much better about spending time there sorting out things. Anyway have a chap who did the tiles last year going again to cut everything back and check neighbour's tiles as she is convinced wisteria is growing under her roof tiles..... it looked so pretty when I went past last week lol
Also managing to juggle all my payments still but will come a time when the balls all crash to the floor so need to get things sorted better so there isn't a constant worry over cash flow etc. Didn't win the Euro millions, sorry folks, but still hope of Saturday's lottery eh?

Don't know what Emlyn did but glad things aren't too bad and the sling sounds funky, tell her hearts are my favourite decoration along with tulips and elephants - don't ask!

Ann, I read somewhere when you get back from a holiday write down as you unpack all the things you work and what you didn't wear or need so next time you can pack more easily. Might work for the next trip? I am just like you, unpacking a thousand times while I juggle what I can take and not take etc and then end up not wearing half of it, that's one reason why it is easy to drive to a holiday, I just throw everything in the car, you would be amazed how much I can pack into a Fiesta lol and his stuff too. He is hopeless and can't pack for toffee, one year just before our flight to Kefalonia he was till trying on stuff to see what to take and I had asked him to do it every day for the week before we went! Men! Have a lovely time anyway.

Have a good weekend folks, three days of o.h. - mixed blessings, Bank Hol weekends lol

love to all
Lizxxx

I'm in a panic about next Saturday when we have this tea which I , in my wisdom, suggested. I've ordered the bread for sands but that's about it thus far, hopefully I function better under pressure. My son's g'friend will bake this weekend, but not sure how much she can do, and transport it here from Toronto. Panic is setting in, need to take a deep breath and get started.
Spent the whole morning with my granddaughter Emlyn, first at the clinic, then the x-ray clinic, then back to the clinic, to be told there's no fracture, with which she regained her happier mood. Now she has to dance in competition tonight with a sling . . . a sling with hearts all over it . . . she's very relieved she doesn't have 'SLIME disease'. Not sure why she connected a fall and shoulder injury to a virus, but it gave me a chuckle anyway.
I'm in deep with unopened envelopes again, another pile to be opened, why do I do this??? I need a manager . . . I don't start something because I won't have time to finish it, so therefore I do nothing, what is wrong with me, when I can clearly see the issue?

have to run, Em's dropped chocolate pudding on the floor . .
Mary

I have been packing, that is enough to frustrate anyone Lol!! I never know what to pack, then I have too much so I take some out, then i bet I have taken out something I will need when I get there!! Meanwhile I have OH who does all the booking, car park booking etc running round saying 'I can't find'/'have you seen?' then he must have counted the euros ten times!! then when he is packing he keeps asking if he should take this or that!! Lol bless him he is worse than a child sometimes. And this is he who used to jet back and forth to US and other places all his working life. I suppose he didn't have to take me as an encumbrance then.

anyway, we go tomorrow so I may be on here later or may not. If not, be good and I will see you soon.

Ann
Glos xx

Deanna, I have this mental picture of you wandering in Durham shouting at a computer lol I just love your attitude and humour - am laughing to myself, as I imagine you trying to start the voice thingy. Your family know how to keep you busy eh? lol
Enjoy your rest and your book,
I keep nipping off for a crafty read of my book when I should really be doing something more boring like 'swearword' lol

Lizxx

Liz, please don't waste your energy worrying about me.
I am fine, I just get a bit frustrated sometimes.
I set up the via voice... and now I have to work out how to START THE DAMNED THING.
Now if I do go off my head, I want you all to know that my son and Lisa did it to me.
Out of the kindness of their hearts, they gave me a viavoice to drive me CRAZY!
well I really do have to go and have a rest.
I need to sit and read, or just think.... nothing else.
I will see you all over the weekend I hope?
Love to all and keep smiling.
Deanna XXXX

Next time you visit Durham Ben May I ask you to search for me?
You can say NO if you want and I will not be offended, after all, it is a lot to ask of anyone.
XXXX

Forever Mystified and Hazel, I have ocd in that I can't get rid of things, I hoard everything almost lol but it is a very complex illness that is hard to get treatment for, I have been battling for years to get help and it doesn't happen.
The numbers thing probably links in with your son's job so is manageable. Cbt can help but finding the right cbt therapist is like looking for a needle in a haystack, they are few and far between and the mental health people here in Norfolk are rubbish - been fobbed off so much it makes me angry.

Can't really offer any suggestions except for pushing their doctors to refer them to mental health department if not already done so, but also if they are not on any medication already I do find 5htp helps make me less anxious which can ease things a bit. It's no good telling people with ocd to change their ways or pull themselves together because they can't, I have often told my o.h. 'don't you think if I could change I would have done it by now' no matter how much my logical mind says I don't need to hold on to quite so much stuff, the ocd counteracts those feelings.
Good luck to your son and the ex boyfriend of Hazel's daughter.

Lizxx

Hazel ,i feel for him my d.i.l has it for the last few years and my son said she was upset the other day as docter has uped her medication but she falls asleep all the time and they have three children,shes stressing out that im coming the house is,nt dirty just abit untidy ,i said i come to see you and my son and g,children not the house but its awful for her,she gets no help from her mother shes one of these if you cant see it you have,nt got it,stupid woman i do hope your daughters boyfriend can get some help
Dutchx

He might like to talk to one of our male posters (Ben). Ben has been with us for a long time. He works hard, and has put some of his own OCD problems to rest. A few of us have OCD problems in one form or another.
I have got over some of my own, but still struggle to go to work and cope with my biggest problem. Hope we will get the chance to meet your son xx (cyber meet that is)

Hope he reads it.

My daugthers ec boyfrend has OCD,

He has to have everything in right place, three fingers in between the tea,coffee sugar pot etc,

If he spills anything on side in kitchen he had to clear the whole kitchen,

So it can enfect people in so many ways.

Lets hope more help comes for those who need it.

Hazel

Morning all. I have to go to a training meeting this morning. The old problem kicked in of course! Just popped on here to see how you are.
Dutch phoned last night it was good to hear her voice I get the feeling you don't get a quick call from Dutch!! :o)) No I'm kidding she was very chatty
no problem keeping a conversation going! Well must go, see you all later.xx

Hi Ben, good to see you around and hear you are ok and have been doing some more travelling.

Mary, what a star you are, and how lovely your garden will be when it's finished and you have less to worry about, ground cover stuff will save you some time and effort except just to keep it under control. You will have to get Colleen to take some pics for you, what a shame your camera got a dunking. I love my digital one I had for my 60th and I too have a camera on the phone my son got me for Christmas, altho I don't use it much but mostly if I am close parked to other cars, I photograph them with the number plate showing so I have a record in case one leaves and damages the side of my (o.h's) car. Helps if they do a lot of damage to show insurance company as many people don't own up if they scrape your car or something and you aren't around to know.
Had a good natter with Carole a little while ago, and hope everyone else is feeling better soon.
Deanna, hope you don't get too frustrated when things go pearshaped, you are doing so well, you have my admiration.
So sorry I haven't done messages for anyone else, keep getting interrupted by doorbell, Avon girl, and phone, my cousin, so better get off here now and catch up with some chores and get my dinner, I am starving!

love to all
Lizxx



Will catch up with everyone soon I hope, I owe so many pms and emails still.