General Chat

Hi everyone

Things with me are all upside down,

Just a very bad 2 weeks, hope it ends soon,
What with brother to do with mums money he took, having problems with Caitlin, problem with move and now my nephew has been rushed to hospital for an op on his brain.

And there me thinking its going to be better year.

dont even have it in my dream having night mares all the time.

(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))) to all that need them

Carole, how sad, (somewhat) decent of him to not put a damper on the b'days. Give H a hug for me.
AnnG thanks . . . I was just turned 7 when we emigrated. I have such an intense memory of sitting on the pebble beach at Amroth, my Dad with a long sheet of foolscap paper, pro's on one side, con's on the other. The pro's won. We went into Tenby for him to telegram his decision to emigrate and we went home to pack.
School in Canada was a nightmare for me, my brother was only 3 and never had a problem adjusting. I was tormented in school, already upset at being there, but teased about my hair, my accent, my clothes, my shoes, my VERY red cheeks, etc etc. Ridiculed because I couldn't print, had been taught cursive writing which was very legible, but had to 'revert' to printing, because my class hadn't learned to write yet. The only real friends I had, were a family from south Wales who emigrated shortly after we did. I even had a fight on my road with a boy from the Catholic school who insisted I was a "dirty Protestant", to which I replied I am NOT, I'm a Baptist!!
After 6 months the family doctor told my parents they must take me home because my constant illness was related to depression, 'she's breaking her heart'. I'd had rheumatic fever for 2 years before we emigrated and was considered 'fragile' (you'd never know it from the photos of me bulging out of my blazer.)
So another pattern was set - we went home every summer for 2 months for the next 9 years till my g'mo passed away. Which is why I was able to retain close ties with a couple of cousins, developed increased familiarity with various areas.
Then the trips stopped and we vacationed by the sea in Canada.
Then I started Nursing training and met someone and the rest is history.
Then I didn't have the money for trips nor a spouse who was interested in one.
When my one son died in 1974, I started working on my family tree as a way to divert my mind, I know that helped me, and helps in this type of situation, to search for ones roots.
In her 90's my mother and I talked, the conversation initiated by Mum, and she finally admitted to me that she wondered if they had made a mistake emigrating - she KNEW it wasn't the best thing for me, and said so. But there's so much water under the bridge now there's no turning back, my path is set - here - but March 1st always sets me off . . .
Thanks for listening
MAry

Carole glad you got lots of cards.

I am sorry to hear of H's problems, after 8 years that is a shock for her. Has he found somebody else. That is often the reason they use the excuse of not feeling the same. I hope she can sort something out with her job she must feel desperate losing him and the prospect of no job.

Thinking of her. Is she the daughter whose photo I had? I can't remember. If so she is a lovely looking girl and it is his loss. Well even if it is a different daughter it is his loss I'm sure.

Ann
Glos

Thank you to you all for the cards you sent for my birthday xxx
I didn't expect so many cards this year. xxx Sorry not to have thanked you sooner see below.

Big upset at our house. H went home on Sunday, after her weeks hol with us, to be told by her boyfriend of nearly eight years he didn't feel the same, and it was over. She come home again. Her job (bank assistant) is an hour away if she had a car, but she doesn't. So this week she has his car or ours but after that we don't know what will happen. Her boss is going to see if H can get a transfer to our city. She went back last night to collect her stuff and came home crying again.( A friend went with her so at least she had company). So we just hugged both of us crying! He came out with us Saturday night, guess he didn't want to put a downer on the birthdays (it was H's on the 24th) We are all a bit dumb struck at the moment.

Hi to everyone, have been putting water on the gardens today as everything needed a drink.

It has been trying to rain but not successful as yet.

Thinking of all of you, was wondering how y/caz's move was going, do not worry too much it is probably all the excitement of moving, wondering how you will get things sorted. I do not mind packing, hate the unpacking and wondering where things will fit. The house we lived in before this one had 3 bedrooms and built in cupboards in every room, even the hallway, this house is only 2 bedrooms and a very small cottage. We have built ins now, but only for 3 years, I wonder how we managed at first. The only cupboard in the kitchen was with the sink and was only 2 door cupboard so was very grim. It is funny how you adjust though and after a while it seemed to be normal.

Well off to watch Torchwood on UK TV.

Love and hugs

Gail

PS: Mary you do not ramble.

Mary what age were you when you emigrated? It certainly sounds as if you never came to terms with it. I wonder if others feel the same as you - rootless-?

Rach returning your ((((hugs)))) hope you feel a bit better this week.

YCaz, it will get done eventually, small steps at a time. Do you actually have a date when you intend moving in? Thanks for news about joyce (Dutch), Poor woman she does have such a heavy load to carry sometimes and to now break her glasses must seem like the final straw.

Liz, hope your PC stays fixed.

love and hugs to everyone I hope you all have a good day
Rachxxxx

OMG Liz, what a thought, move again? I think not. Actually I was wondering about the daffs, I have about 100 bulbs which didn't make it into the garden last October, can I put them in now or do I have to wait till later in the year? I was going to have my front flower bed alight with yellow daffs this spring. Didn't happen.
I babble on about moving and various other things. perhaps it's time to get my thinking cap on straight for the first time in years. I've been thinking a lot recently (I know, you could smell something burning), about why I rarely feel settled, I'm always looking to move or relocate, or . . . I think this may go back to my childhood depression when I was forced to emigrate, kicking and screaming. Truthfully, although I love this house, I feel as if I have no roots, don't know where I really belong, when I was down last week because I ran out of the citalopram, my mind went to work analyzing myself. I never feel completely settled. restless, always expecting something to happen, as a child, never believed it when something good happened, always waiting for something to go wrong. I've certainly progressed from that point, can appreciate something positive, but I do not know where I belong. is it perhaps presently because the house isn't as I'd like it, despite multiple attempts to declutter, it's not cozy as I'd like it. I'm still waiting for the axe to fall.
Sorry to ramble on, at least here someone will understand what I'm expressing,most people just think 'there she is, off on one of her tangents again'. I yearn to go home, but once there become depressed that I have to leave again until another short visit. My last auntie died in February, I just received the news today, she had reached 100 years old, got her letter from the Queen etc. I so wanted to visit before she was gone.And had I known, I would have borrowed the $$ for a trip to attend her funeral. But one week runs into another, procrastination becomes the norm, my small family is reducing in numbers and we are so far apart.
I'm off to bed now, will try and arise in a better mood tomorrow.
Mary

Hi everyone, I am not ignoring you but been so busy, well as busy I I can be, one job and I'm worn out. Don't know how we will get moved the way I am. Well, it's all signed and sealed and first fortnight paid so theres no going back now, even if I wanted to, the address is completely different to what I thought it was but I will send it to everyone in my address book but it might take some time.
Going out this morning to choose paint, it's a lovely anaglypta(sp) wallpaper, not too fussy a pattern so will look nice painted, and quicker.

I too have no idea about Joyce, she is my 'big sis' but I promised her I wouldn't pm her, leave her to come to terms with things, might break my promise and pm her. Or if you are reading this Joyce could you pm me just a little one to say how you are, we miss you a lot.

Sorry to say I haven't had time to read last couple of pages so I am sorry if I missed something that I should have responded to.
Got to go now, Dutch pm'd me yesterday but I didn't have puter on, she asked for me to add to her thread, she is still not well, in fact she sounds very, very, tired, also broke her glasses so can't see anything.

Love and hugs to all
Caz xx

Hi Carole, yes c and p'd all that, if I had tried to type something out that long be sure it would disappear just as I got to the end lol

Mary, love the photo idea of the pot of daffs and if your son brings them next time he comes you can put them in the garden, or did you say you were planning to move? It was a lovely thought anyway.

Deanna, I bet Joyce still reads the threads and will answer when she feels up to it.

Must carry on catching up and trying to empty my mail box too, before I get told off again lol

love to all

Lizxxxx

I'm almost incognito this week as I'm pulling extra shifts at work due to an outbreak of Influenza 'A'. We are working with minimum staff, lots of overtime and extra shifts. So I'm basically spending my hours off sleeping. Thinking of you all, even when invisible . . .
Yesterday being St Davids day, I spent it among uneducated people who don't even know what it is LOL. yet they plaster the place with fake shamrocks for St Paddy (who was actually born in Wales - we won't mention St David being born in Ireland LOL)
My dear son bought me a pot of daffs to celebrate St David's day, but didn't come home due to overtime at work, so he took a photo of my pot of daffs (sitting on his hall floor among his shoes!!)and sent it to me LOL.
It's the thought that counts!!
mary

Hello Deanna, I am here but trying to make some Easter cards. This morning did a load of washing, then went for a 2-3 mile walk. Kn......d (tired) now. Hope you are OK.

Ann
Glos

Good day all.
Just dropped in to see who had been here on the last page.

Ben and Carole.... come on folks, I have troubles typing but reading is still good. ;-0)
Deanna XXXX

Carole,I hope you take a copy of the narcissism article for your therapist.Or you could just take your mother!

Hi

How is everyone?

I have got over that TV advert model unwanted infatuation. I dont mind a small attraction but this was major and I wasd ruminating and worrying over a non entity and as ssaid they dont look as flawless in real life as they do on TV as they lay it on with a trowel, bucket and spade. I actually looked at her again a few days ago and as I have got over it, a sudden chill ran through my body as to how skinny she was, not my type of girl anyway but she looked too skinny. Her arms are like twigs. Defo not my girl.

I have been doing my family tree well and have had more praise on the Roberts illegitimacy success story wher they all say that he must have been the father of my great, great gran as everything fits and all the evidence says so. A lady actually said that the reasons I gave for the initial illegitimacy are very plausible and that is a good enough reason for the illegitimacy then she said well done.

The baby in question was not born in London but lived there from babyhood, her parents married there when she was 7 months old, and she was then baptised there when she was 10 months old, and lived there until she died aged 79 in 1943. Born in Sussex, but baptised in Stoke Newington, London, then inbetween the ages of 1 and 22 she lived in Bow, Lambeth, Walworth, Holborn then Fitzrovia where she married in 1886 before moving to Camden, then Islington in 1888 then back to Camden in 1898. I would say she was a Londoner, wouldn't you?

Ben

Deanna I don't know what happened to Joyce. I did keep mentioning her for a long time. But if people don't want to join in I don't want them to feel pestered, so stopped. I just hope she is well.

Sharron who do you mean ? lol

It's not Carole who needs to look at her behaviour.

Eileen.... an easy mistake to make?
I don't think so.
I have NEVER MADE ALLAN COFFEE WITH A STOCK CUBE!I have always used COFFEE GROUNDS. ha ha ha

Caz Y... let me know where you are going too,

And Carole I'm a bit frightened to ask this now having been away so long myself, but what has happened to our Joyce?

Got to go now as I have been on here too long and am really tired.

Love to all of you and forgive me for not mentioning you.
I will get better and better and will eventually be able to type great long boring messages as I used to. ha ha ha

Have a lovely Sunday afternoon, even if you have a relaxing snooze, as I am about to do. ;-0)

Lots of love to all of you.
Deanna XXXX

I thought you had been busy typing there Liz. But I guess you c/p it from somewhere!

What is the difference between CBT and other talking treatments?
CBT is one type of psychotherapy ('talking treatment'). Unlike other types of psychotherapy it does not involve 'talking freely', or dwell on events in your past to gain insight into your emotional state of mind. It is not a 'lie on the couch and tell all' type of therapy.

CBT tends to deal with the 'here and now' - how your current thoughts and behaviours are affecting you now. It recognises that events in your past have shaped the way that you currently think and behave. In particular, thought patterns and behaviours learned in childhood, However, CBT does not dwell on the past, but aims to find solutions to how to change your current thoughts and behaviours so that you can function better in the future.

CBT is also different to counselling which is meant to be non-directive, empathic and supportive. Although the CBT therapist will offer support and empathy, the therapy has a structure, is problem-focused and practical.

What are the limitations of CBT?
CBT does not suit everyone and it is not helpful for all conditions. You need to be committed and persistent in tackling and improving your health problem with the help of the therapist. It can be hard work. The 'homework' may be difficult and challenging. You may be taken 'out of your comfort zone' when tackling situations which cause anxiety or distress. However, many people have greatly benefited from a course of CBT.

How can I get CBT?
Your doctor may refer you to a therapist who has been trained in CBT. This may be a psychologist, psychiatrist, psychiatric nurse, or other health care professional. There is a limited number of CBT therapists available on the NHS. You may wish to go private if it is not available in your area on the NHS. (See below for resources.) However, government policy is to make CBT more widely available on the NHS.

Do-it-yourself CBT
Although CBT with the help of a trained therapist is best, some people prefer to tackle their problems themselves. There are a range of books and leaflets on self-help for the problems which CBT is useful for (anxiety, phobias, depression, etc). More recently, interactive CDs and websites are being developed and evaluated for self-directed CBT for a variety of conditions. See the resources below for further details.

Further resources
The British Association of Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies (BABCP)
Globe Centre, PO BOX 9, Accrington, BB5 2GD
Tel: 01254 875277 Web: www.babcp.com
Maintain a register of practitioners. They also have pamphlets (for a small charge) which provide information about problems such as anxiety, depression, PTSD, OCD, social phobia, agoraphobia, chronic fatigue syndrome, eating disorders, etc.

Oxford Cognitive Therapy Centre (OCTC)
Based in the Oxford Psychology Department, part of Oxfordshire Mental Healthcare Trust.
Web: www.octc.co.uk
Their website gives details of how to order a number of self-help booklets with a CBT approach for conditions such as OCD, anxiety, panic, depression, phobias, etc.

Ultrasis
Web: www.ultrasis.com - produce interactive, computer based CBT programmes.

FearFighter
Web: www.fearfighter.com - a method for delivering CBT on the internet.



References
Depression and anxiety - computerised cognitive behavioural therapy (CCBT), NICE (2006)
What are Cognitive and/or Behavioural Psychotherapies? A paper prepared for a UKCP/BACP mapping psychotherapy exercise by Katy Grazebrook, Anne Garland and the Board of BABCP July 2005
O'Kearney RT, Anstey KJ, von Sanden C. Behavioural and cognitive behavioural therapy for obsessive compulsive disorder in children and adolescents. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews 2006, Issue 4
James A, Soler A, Weatherall R. Cognitive behavioural therapy for anxiety disorders in children and adolescents. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews 2005