General Chat

I couldn't get on my hotmail earlier, but have now. I also got the message from Tony how thoughtfull of him to think of us all. Deanna will be so proud of him
when we get to talk to her again xx

Eileen good night xx

Was off to bed hours ago, but got sidetracked by the new (internet) scrabble game that my friend in England found,you always think, just one more word... and, by some very confusing mails from my daughter in France.It was to do with names....she was talking about Sheila being a lovely woman, I thought she meant the Sheila we rented a house in north Wales two years ago in november, but she meant my friend Sheila.....gawd, names. I though it was confusing enough on here with the Caroles on here.

Will say good night everyone.

Eileen x

Eileen that is good news, thanks for telling us. xx

Am very touched and relieved to receive a mail from Tony, saying how well Deanna is doing.They couldn't visit today, due to the noro virus in the wards.Think that what it's called.

Have been thinking a lot about her today, wishing her better first of all, but must confess to missing being able to 'talk' to her about my daughter, amongst other, lighter subjects.

Joyce, I will be away a lot this weekend, but you make just catch me in between, as it were.Next weekend the gang are coming to do all the odd jobs that need doing, a week earlier than planned.Fine with me!

Hope you all have a good night, no bugs biting etc.

Eileen x

Hello Ladies.first i would like to welcome CarolB what aloverly lady,Gillie welcome to ,they are agreat bunch on here and will give you the support without question,but thats what friends do
Eileen hope your ok will try to get in touch over the weekend take care
Gail,hope things get better for you
Tinkerbell hope your well
Caz ,my friend i no your ok well as well as you can be,cos i talk to you everyday
Caroleb would just like to addmy thoughts to you on the sad time coming up its not easy take care
for anyone ive missed out have good weekend all
Dutchxxx

Thank you, I love nature and will go sit outside for a while Eileen/Gail. You lift one without realising you are, I will be a rambler if no one minds..Amsterdam holds some lovely memories for me too.
Ycaz..bless you hun, sleep well, I can just see you with your feet up and your head in a soup bowl...what a picture.
xxxx
CarolB

Gail,

My method of coping with difficult, dark times, was to work very hard,i.e, give the downstairs floors a good old mopping, ripping all the far too big and far too many weeds out of the garden, but cannot do this much anymore.Have mostly been able to find solace in nature, birds and animals, this is not helping much lately.
Last time I went to Amsterdam to help youngest daughter, she showed me some black crumb-like things on their kitchen Island.Had a think, then recognised what they were.I had the same problem long ago.It was a juicy green caterpiller, hidden on a plant, very difficult to see.Her first reaction was "eeeekkkk, get it away", but had to admit how fascintating it was to actually see it chomping on a leaf, and doing the "inch worm"( Danny Kaye's lovely song) dance, so to speak. I took it to safety outside, didn't kill it.

If you are "rambling", then so am I. Maybe this will make me a thread killer!

Eileen

Hi YCaz, great to see you improving. Hope the new pills work better and keep the feet up.

CarolB, I try to look at the good thing I have when things get dim. Take time out to virtually smell the roses. I try to take my brain away. Working on my tree is a good focus and get loads done when really down. When I feel okay, do not get as much done though as find I am not as focused, so then make lots of lists to do for my tree. Going for a walk is good, but you have to let you mind drift and see what is around you. That is hard thing to do and takes practice.

Simple things like watching a caterpillar eating a leaf, there is joy in that and such a simple thing. I love bird watching. I have my pets and they are wonderful company.

Probably rambling, but that is how I learned to cope.

Gail

Carol,

I haven't been posting all that long, so don't know who your loved one that you lost is.
Caz says we will be behind you next month, so this must mean the anniversary of your loved one's death.The first year is sooo hard,the pain and loss never really leaves you, but most say it gets easier as the years go by. I won't be stopping with the pills, much though I loath them, but cannot do with my 'crutch' yet.
Gail, if you knew this daughter, you would understand why she is considered to be rather eccentric.We all say it could only happen to her, everytime yet another wierd thing happens when she is around.She makes me laugh like a drain sometimes.
Caz, what brain? Do you mean that pile of mush inside my skull? Sometimes I wonder if it IS a brain.

x

See Gillie, told you they were a great bunch on here, it's nice to see you joining in and you won't feel so alone now, there is always someone here. By the way, I am known as Caz or Y Caz it makes it easier on Eileen lol who gets us Caroles confused, now we have another one to make her brain work harder.
Welcome Carol B, it is nice to see you on here, and post whenever you need to, I don't like to bring it up but you will find we are all behind you at the beginning of next month so if you need us we are here. Hope I haven't upset you by saying that.

I've forgotten what I was going to say now, oh yes, Carole they are some new ones Macmillan nurse prescribed for me, she wouldn't let me go back on Tramadol, said she put me on Morphine as I needed somethiing stronger.

Ann I haven't read your Lake District yet because I want to read it all in one go, last week I was falling asleep in the silliest places, hubby just stopped me from putting my head in a bowl of soup, that is desperately drowsy. I am getting better at staying awake though so it won't be long, sorry for delay.

Off to bed with feet up now.

Caz xx

Gail, they say you learn to cope with the pain not learn to live with it, but how do you cope with the depression you find yourself in every day...I claw myself out bit by bit every day but I get so tired.
Eileen..keep taking those tablets, I may have to soon hun...one moment at a time
Peace to you all
xxxx
CarolB

Since coming on this thread, I never feel alone any more.

CarolB, I do not understand your bereavement, no one ever could, but do understand what it is to go through. My latest was my old school friend and neighbour a couple of weeks back. My dad I lost in July. I lost a son at birth. I do not think you ever fully get over loosing people close to you. You do however learn to live with it. While you do remember them they still live on in our hearts.

Ann in Glos, sounds like a lovely place to visit. I had visions running through my head with your description.

Eileen, love your description of your daughter. It gave me a giggle.

Gail

Welcome CarolB.At least you are Carol without an e.
Bereavement to me is the same as a depression, mustn't be underated. I lost my beloved auntie who lived with me,in feb.2006, then my best friend here in Holland 8 months later.Am still battling with grief . It hits especially hard when other bad things intrude into your life. I am still taking anti depressants, wish I could stop.
At least you are having councelling, hope it helps you to overcome your obviously deep grief.
What you say about suicides is all too true.Those black moments seem so bad, that it sometimes seems the only option, doesn't it?

This thread is a life line to most of us, we don't have to be scared of being ridiculed or stamped on, but get a ot of support from those who understand us.

Eileen x

The arboretum sounds wonderful Ann.We went to the Hortus Botanicus in Amsterdam some years ago.This summer, my daughter (the one who's bike was stolen yesterday and who drove her car into a ditch-what a way to describe her!) took me to a large gardening centre in Limburg,which has all the old-fashioned plants & herbs you can't find anywhere now.I felt sorry for her, because there were hardly any plants to be seen.It had new owners, who had to start from scratch in january.

Welcome Gillie.I love your board name.It is my favourite perfume, but I can't buy it here in Holland anymore.Couldn't find it in any shops when in England some months ago either.

Eileen x

Hi All
Eileen another Carol just to confuse you more...no dont mean it really. I have read this thread often but never added as I get in and out of depressions...right now coming out of one and feeling better today so thought I might add..I too do not suffer an illness but a bereavement, might as well be an illness though as there is no cure for how one feels. I will not take tablets but I do go to councelling and it helps to understand with peeps who like yourself need the support to see you through the dark times so you do not lose hope of life...I can understand why there are so many suicides/deaths after losing a loved one.
xxxx
CarolB

Carole, how do you do it? Maybe you write all the names down before posting here?
It is really worth while to visit the Amish community.My youngest & partner went there about 5-6 years ago.They gave me a lovely jigsaw puzzle called Watching Barn Raising.Reminds me of that great film staring Harrison Ford, Witness.

Be happy everyone.

Eileen x

Thank you for the lovely welcomes, it's good to know I'm not on my own.

Gillie XX

Eileen
Yes I hate the clocks going back, don't like the darker evenings at all.

Sorry not been on for a couple of days. I was out most of yesterday, We had a good day, drove across the beautiful cotswolds and used our Westonbirt Arboretum membership cards to get into Batsford Arboretum. it was very windy but stayed dry with occasional glimpses of the sun. Batsford is not as big as Westonbirt and doesn't have as many Acers but it is very attractive and a lovely walk through the leaves. Lots of photo opportunities too.

From there we drove to Evesham and had lunch in the garden centre, (carvery beautifully cooked roast beef, three veg, two sorts of poataoes, yorkshire pud, then shared a sweet -syrup sponge pudding). wandered round the small complex of shops,bought a couple of small christmas presents, then drove home.

If you are interested, a bit about Batsford: The stature and backbone of Batsford Arboretum which we see today was no more than a dream when its creator inherited the Batsford Estates from John Freeman-Mitford in 1886.
During the 1860s Algernon Bertram Freeman-Mitford (later 1st Lord Redesdale) travelled widely in oriental Asia as an attaché to the foreign legation. He was deeply influenced by the landscapes in China and Japan and became fascinated by those plants that he found there, especially the bamboos. Most of the major trees, many of which are most unusual, were his original plantings. He also created one of the foremost bamboo collections of the time and some of these still live on today.
The estate was sold in 1919 to Gilbert Alan Hamilton Wills, later the 1st Lord Dulverton.

John Freeman Mitford 2nd Lord Redesdale was the father of the Mitford Girls and Batsford was their home for a while until he could no longer afford to run the estate.

hope all goes well for your OH today Elaine, you will both be pleased when it is all over and I hope this will now set him right.

good to see you on here Caz so glad the new tablets (or are they the old?) are working better for you.

Welcome to the thread Gillie, I feel a fraud on here as I don't suffer with any illness thank goodness, my claim to 'fame' is a chronic bad back. I started coming on here when i was due to go into hospital for an op last feb and people on here gave me loads of support. So now I support them (I hope).

Morning Gail and Gill, and Liz and whoever is around that I may have missed.

ann
Glos

Who to say hi to first?

Elaine.... cos I know it has been a very difficult week for you. By the time you see this you will be home tonight and the op will be over. Hope it went okay, and you will be able to sleep easier tonight. What a
sad image to leave there your oh with glossy eyes.
And today I guess he would still be under the effects of his anesthetic. When will you be able to visit him again? xx

Gillie welcome to our thread. It's always nice to see
someone join us. Everyone here is really lovely so I know you will make some good friends. xx

Caz wow! Back in the land of the living. What a long post! I can see from that, that you are much better than last week. Pleased you were feeling able to do that. Those patches were really making you feel ill weren't they? xx

Gill I saw the thread the other night accusing you of
god knows what! You made your self heard very well, and didn't get into further arguments. I've never seen you write so much! lol. Well handled Gill xxx

Deanna my thoughts are going out to you, Alan and your family. Hope you are making steps to recovery.
xxx

Eileen now you have all us Caroles sorted you will
have a better grasp of what is going on!! lol. You watch a new Carole will pop in and get you all confused again! xxx

Gail loved reading about the birds in your garden.
Can't imagine seeing a flock of parrots. The colour must be amazing. Did I reply to your email? I have been so busy the last couple of weeks I have lost
track. How are you? How long until your brother gets back? xxx

Sharron, I really do not know how you cope. Your Dad is a very lucky man to have you there. xxx

Liz, how do you think your counselling is helping?
Or not? Have you been able to see any changes in your ocd? I had my last session Wednesday and was surprised at my apparent improvement! Also got a nice report from the driving instructor. But a lot if it I felt was bull! Harder to take positive comments than negative isn't it. How is your son? xx

Betty how is your son? I truly wish he will soon start to see the benefits of taking his meds. He had been doing so well. Keep an eye on M**** also you don't want her to slip back to her old ways. Give J a nudge to make him help you more. But don't neglect yourself during this difficult time. xxx

Kathy don't worry about posting and sharing if you feel low. Tell us, and let us try to give you a lift. Please don't shut yourself away. It's been a difficult time for you also, so you need a bit of love xxx

Mary, I haven't arranged to meet you as I don't know what itinery my cousin has planned. I know that we are going south Ohio for the weekend in the middle of the holiday. Apart from that I don't know what the plans are. I know Gale has thought of going to an Amish community, Detriot for a Motown museum, and Cleveland for a rock museum that my oh wants to see. If we get to Niagra falls it will be the American side. I am very consious of the distances
so feel I am expecting my cousin to drive too far.
The cost of petrol as it is! So please forgive me if I
squirm out of meeting you. xxx

Paula not seen you here for ages but thinking of you.xx

Jules another escapee, xx

Joyce, come on, we want Toby stories xx

Dawn I am proud of you, you have been pushing yourself to get out and make contact with people. Well done xxx

Dutch Joyce, are you okay? Haven't seen you post a lot. xx

Caz C hope you are coping with your problems xx

Ann G when is your next holiday? Not long to mine.
Getting really excited. Do you book your holidays far in advance or go when you see a bargain? xx

Where are our men? Ben, Dave, Malc, and Paul who I saw here a few nights ago, but was so tired I thought I'd talk to later. Sorry Paul, hope you got your beer, smoke and what was the other!! Welcome Paul anyway. Shout here when ever you need to let off steam! xx

Louise hope you are okay xxx

I know when I hit submit I will remember someone else but Ihave to get a shower and do some jobs.
So if I didn't mention you today I will remember you another time xxx

Caz, it is good to see you on the thread.As usual, you are thinking about everyone else..hope you continue to get a lot of relief from the new tabs.

Elaine, thinking of you and your hubby today.Making plans for a holiday next year is a very good idea, it will give you both a boost.

It was my daughter Fiona's birthday yesterday.I phoned her early to wish her a happy day.O.k so far.She phoned me back in the evening to say her bike has been stolen.I can't keep count of all the bikes she lost this way.It was an expensive one, she bought it with money she received for an article she wrote.Daft thing, she left the key in it, so won't get any money from the insurance.

It is my sister Bunty's birthday on saturday, wish we lived nearer to each other.Had a very long chat on the phone with her this morning.Not the same as being with her though.

On the subject of birds, there are a lot of green parrot-like birds in Amsterdam.I was told that a few escaped from a zoo and multiplied.Very exotic looking. There is a small park called heron's wood,it was an amazing sight to see countless herons perched on top of the trees.Didn't realise that they sat in trees.

I hope you all have a pleasant day,with better weather than it is here at the moment.

Clocks go back this weekend, does anyone else hate this too?

Eileen xx