General Chat

just a quicky update im starttin to feel abit better again tho im still upset wiv what has happened i am tryin to just get on wiv life

i do enjoy card making but cant get into it at the mintue just cant be bothered tho i did go to a neighbours allotment the other day tho im not that mobile i had my own way of doin things and that seemed to of helpedd the stress get out of me lol

but just lately ive been on here alot listening to me i pod which does help abit

Hi all

Had a good time at my nephew wedding on Saturday. It was nice seing my sister again. She wasnt too bad for the day as wasnt to hot. But since Sunday has been bad.

Off to another wedding on Saturday my nieces, then on Sunday will be going to Babs(sister)again as we are going away for 5 days on Monday.If she is up to it. Only going about 40miles from where she lives.

Then got my daughter Teris 30th birthday on the 7th.But her party is on the 9th.

Glad you are getting out for awhile Tinkers. Hope its helping.

Take care everyone.

Hazelx

Is there anything that you enjoy doing Tinkers. Like, if I am fed up I do some card making which lifts my mood. However I realise your problem is slightly different from being fed up but getting really involved in doing something might help you. Do you listen to music, read, watch films, garden?

hi carol no i havent a dog tho have been going out for a walk but as mobility is limited i can only do so much

Hang on in there! Thats all you can do. Have you looked on line for books to help? I think Dr Claire weeks was one I used to read. Or at relaxation CD's. Try get some exercise, walking, do you have a dog? If not take a friends!

yes it is i have to go back in 2 weeks again to c him but i am sooo fed up at the mintue i dont wanna go ive just had enough

Tinkers,thats the Dr out the way for a bit then! Hope he /she can get you some help x

morning ive just been to c my doctor and he isnt too happy as ive been doin well wiv the panic attacks but he did say it will get better again as ive had the rotten news

he is going to fight my corner for me and told me to take things easy

I have just found a site called luke173 ministries. It is a site for women who have been abused within the family and offers religious support.

Now I don't do religion or sisterhood but there are some very useful parts to it.

Carol.you are dealing very well with your mother.Is that a result of the counselling?

I must admit that, once I accepted there was no hope of having a mum, I used to delight in baiting my mother.She would have treated me just as badly had I not so I had nothing to losw.

I think if you talk to friends or family you share the hurt you feel sometimes caused by them. You wouldn't want to do that, you want to protect them from feeling your hurt and protect your self from the guilt you have at your feelings. Does that make sense?
A counsellor will not judge you, or give feed back that will influence how you feel. Their feedback will make you think deeper about how you veiw your problems. I admitted some deep secrts from my past which I could not tell anyone. She didn't bat an eyelid or coment. I just felt like what have I been so worried about admitting that. I feel like I like myself more now. That people like me. I never had that before. And a lot of that came from the lovely friends here. Good luck tomorrow at the Dr's.
God I used to dread my appointments. I had to go to the loo so many times while waiting to be called. Stressed I'd be called while at the loo! I'd feel sick and shake. Lots better now.
You too will be in time xxx

thanx very much mary

tinkers it IS difficult to open up to a stranger, but in the long run, is actually MUCH easier than talking to friends/family who are emotionally involved with you. I well remember the feeling when I entered a psychiatrists office the first time "well you've really done it this time, you have finally hit the complete rock bottom". The truth was that it was the start of my climb out of the black hole which had enveloped me for a very long time, of finding myself, of escaping from an abusive situation, of reclaiming family connections, of improved self-confidence and a new feeling of self-worth, of relocating my sense of humour and finally having the strength to reach out to others. I found myself, at the time, totally mortified that I "needed a shrink", but it was one of the most positive steps in my journey.
If counselling can be arranged, go for it. Little by little you will feel better.
Mary

thanx for the advice guys
i have been told i need counselling so will mention it to my doctor when i c him on monday but im the kind of lady that wont talk about my past so noone knows the full extent of what happened so if an when i do c this councillor i will find it very difficult to open up to a complete stranger tho it is kind of weird because since i started suffering the panic attacks i have found you guys have helped me alot i ont no if thats because im sat at the computer or what lol does that make sense lol

Well said Carole, I too have had a lot of issues, and firmly believe that a counsellor together with the medication is the way for optimal result, once the a/d allowed me to be calm enough to talk. I never could bring myself to talk about the one issue which still haunts me, not for a public forum, but related to one of my kids. But we did get to all the pain and sadness which remained from childhood, and that alone was a huge help, to verbalise feelings which had been repressed for many years. As a childhood depression diagnosis was not given when I was a child in the dark ages, it took till my late 40's to identify how long depression had controlled me. And 2 years of counselling to work through. Those childhood issues can still dredge up deep feelings but I can talk about them now.
We wish you well, there truly is light at the end of the tunnel. And we al;l share the days when the light is shining, as well as the dreary ones.
Mary

Tinkers ask your Dr for help with a counseller. It can take ages for an appointment to come through, so by the time you are offered anything you will be ready to talk.
I learnt to accept my Mum as she is. She didn't mean to hurt my feelings and nothing can change her. So I give time and help to her now( shes79) on my terms not hers even though she still tries to have control over me. I learnt to say no and not jump at her order. (Sat here today feeling obliged to go see her, but have things to do here before I go back to work tomorrow). I know it's not easy My mind struggles with what I want to do and what I feel I should do. Guilt is a terrible thing. I try to let go of it, and it is getting easier but that is with counseling suport on here and from my husband. This thread is years old! So just don't expect to be compleatly free if this, depression is for keeps, but you can fight and get on top.
You are doing very well. There will be days when you have set backs but you have the tools of relaxation, breathing and more control of the panic atacks. You will win!! Try to be strong but you really have to take it day by day. Don't make plans to far ahead, they are comitments you might not feel you can cope with when they come round and you will maybe panic cos you know you said you'd do what ever it is. Just keep up the relaxation x

Would you like me to bring up the narcissism thread?

The first thing I did was to try hypnotherapy.It helped me let go of the stress that the unecessary guilt brings.

I am extremely unfit at the moment because I have just given in to what my mind wanted to do for a while. If partner was at home to deal with the old man and I felt the need to sleep then I would.Sleep heals the mind as well as the body.

sharon u have hit the nail on the head there

there r issues that i have to deal with from my childhood but it aint gonna b easy to get threw

I don't think people realize what an enormous job they have in tackling depression.

What people,and especially the medical profession, don't seem to take into account is that there are things from the past that cause you to be depressed now.Usually they tend to be things that were not your fault but which you have taken on the guilt for.

It is only since I have been at home with the wheeled one that I have had time to sort out the problems that have plagued me throughout my life and address the issues in the relationship with my partner. Strangely he has been carrying the burden of remembrance of a childhood similar to my own. He thought that was a normal childhood too.

I don't think people realize what an enormous job they have in tackling depression.

What people,and especially the medical profession, don't seem to take into account is that there are things from the past that cause you to be depressed now.Usually they tend to be things that were not your fault but which you have taken on the guilt for.

It is only since I have been at home with the wheeled one that I have had time to sort out the problems that have plagued me throughout my life and address the issues in the relationship with my partner. Strangely he has been carrying the burden of remembrance of a childhood similar to my own. He thought that was a normal childhood too.