General Chat

Yes Vonny - probably when I said in January I was driving down to Bendigo to see the 2 girls. btw - I dont get jokes, so I wont be sending you any mail Vonny!!! Isnt it awful when you use up your allowance. Anna I forgot to say - I hope your son finds some accomodation soon. Mary I know how you feel - but please think of the happy memories, I know I do. Still no Rebs - whyyyy?? Jood

Hi folk, Here I am. Before anyone starts sending out a search party, I haven't gone MIA, just had a shitty week so I've kept a low profile. Seems it's been one of those weeks for a few of us, so I hope everyone is okay, and everyones problems and woes all get sorted one way or the other soon. For anyone going away, have a lovely, safe time, and may the weather hold out for you. Forget the diets (for a day at least) and enjoy your choccy. Always seems to taste better in the shape of an egg or bunny for some reason. Found this earlier. Hope it gives a laugh to those who need it........... A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult, four-hour, surgical procedure. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. Nurse,' he mumbles from behind the mask, 'Are my testicles black?' Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, 'I don't know sir, I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.' He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, are my testicles black?' Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around. Then, she takes a close look and says, 'There's nothing wrong with them, sir.' The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, ' Thank you very, very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely...... A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ?!!? ' :-)))))) Have a great Easter everyone, and hopefully a lotto win. Smile!!! Love Rebs xxx

Thanks Reb for that I needed it, You always make me feel better.. Love toJoodles.. thanks I know I will feel better in the morning.. Much love to you both,, Maryxxx

good evening all , Tony hope Barb is feeling better now and her mum is ok . now about you and I do a duet I don't think so mate I've got nothing against the people who are coming here mate and you wouldn't inflict my singing on your worst enemy unless of course we hand out cottonwool and we can go for it then after a few VBs for you and for me a few pretendy Baileys lol Lew that will be lovely a little bub for you too cuddle will make you feel better and like Laurie I love the smell of new babies there is nothing like it is there in the whole world and bet you glad that it rained today. Anna let's hope for your son and my daughter we have some sort of win I would be very happy with about $10,000 thanks whoever is in charge of picking who wins, at least Cassie would then be able to pay her solicitor and fix a few of the blasted things that are wrong with the house built by the builders from hell Ezy Homes NOT they are the worst builders ever, everyone needs to be let know don't have anything to do with them under any circumstances . ok rave over Joodles congratulations granma,Lucas is a nice strong name for a boy and it's nice for when they grow up isn't it sounds strong and manly, love and best wishes to your daughter and hubbie too lucky girl you are you might get to have cuddle tomorrow and have that lovely new baby smell too or grief I'm clucky for some new granchildren Susan let's know when you get your broad band and what you think of it I have the slowest dial up of all time and it's driving me nuts Rebs come on what are you up too? mischief I bet? Di I would like one please ( aconvict that is) but not sent for nuffin nasty of course just a little crime picking a pocket or two maybe lol Sue have a lovely time in Melbourne , and enjoy yourself . Gwenda not too much choccie lucky duck I only have to look at it or go past Darrell-Lee's and half a stone jumps on my body lol ok am going to do some photo sorting and cleaning deja vue and will talk to you all tomorrow Love lara

One for the boys......... Subject: Why ARE Condoms Sold In boxes of 3, 6, 12??? A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, 'What are these, Dad? To which the man matter-of-factly replies, 'Those are called condoms son. Men use them to have safe sex.' 'Oh I see,' replied the boy pensively. 'Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school.' He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks... 'Why are there 3 in this package?' The dad replies, 'Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.' 'Cool' says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, 'Then who are these for?' 'Those are for college men,' the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday.' 'WOW!' exclaimed the boy, 'then who uses THESE?' he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, 'Those are for married men. one for January, one for February, one for March......'

Rebs, good jokes (my two nurses in training had told me the first one - they thought it hillarious) Don't think I'll show hubby the second!!! cuwl Vonny

Evening all . . . Just had to share this, Was shopping at Coles this afternoon, picking out some fruit when a young mum came along. She had a wee girl of about 10months in the trolley and Mr Preschooler walking along beside her. I wasn't sure I hear right, but I thought I heard Mr Preschooler saying 'V - ag - ina thats how you spell Vagina isn't it mum !' then it went something like this . . . . 'Yes Clint, would you like to help me pick out some apples' 'I like vaginas mum, do you like em too ?' 'Yes, What apples would you like, red ones or green ones' 'Can you get red and green vaginas mum' 'Come on Clint, you hold the bag while I put the apples in' 'vagina apples, vagina apples, vagina apples' 'vagina magina bgina' by now my whole body is in great pain from holding back the laughter - the tears are rolling down my face Poor mum is getting flustered and I am ready to explode . . . . Mum grabs the apples and heads for the Easter display obviously to try and change the train of thought A short conversation results in a bag of Fredo Frogs being put into the custody of Mr Preschooler Mum walks off pushing the trolley with Mr Preschooler in hot pursuit, skipping in that gauky way that only little boys can achieve, shaking the Fredos to provide the music for his little song . . . singing at the top of his voice 'v - ag - ina spells v - ag - ina, v - ag - ina spells vagina, v - ag - ina spells vagina . . . . ' I so hope that mum writes it down so she doesn't forget and brings it up at a 21st birthday in about 17years time! That little boy doesn't know it but he gave about 15 people the greatest laugh of their lives this afternoon. CONGRATULATIONS JOODLES !!!!!! Poor Jan, hope you have a good visit tomorrow . . be thinking positive thoughts for you ! Just think in about four years that could be your Lucas ! Off to add Lucas to my tree . . . catch you all later Hiiipppyyy Haaappyyy Easter (thats me after chockies) cheers luv Laurie PPPSSS Lara, I got the Lotto numbers on the second go hon, tah muchly !!!

Mine!!!!

Hey that's not fair. You had it last time!! Naughty Rebs, stop hogging them all to yourself. Lew Lew (pouting!)

OH Bugger, I had just written a whole heap of typing hit the wrong button and lost the lot, not going to start again took me all of half an hour to write, will be having all the grandkids down for the next week so now will definitely be not on board, OMG 9yr old, 7yr old and 11mnth old, hehe Rob is already pulling his hair out, going to be a noisy household from now until 25th As I was saying Lew, sorry to read about dear Chester, they really do become part of the family like children dont they, been there about five times and its so sad when they go Have a great holiday Jude Congrats Nanny Jood, he he Frogs, Spiders, creepy critters, hope your not frightened of a few little extra things running around your house in the near future Anyway have a great easter and probably wont see you until we meet at Laras in a couple of weeks Best Luck all for Lotto, Hi to Vonny,Lara, Laurie Anna, Devily, Trifley Gwenda, Tony, Jude, Leah, and sorry to anyone Ive missed Toodles Shaz Whoops Ive been a naughty girl have been upsetting peeps on another thread, honestly some people are thin skinned

Well that's it Shazz - off to the Naughty Corner for you! As I've said before, I don't get involved in any other thread, 'cause it's not worth the drama! Hope you have a great Easter. Chat soon, Lew Lew xxx

Hi Lew, Well ive just gone in and deleted my replies im sorry I added in the first place so I thought instead of wasting my time with it id just clear it off, the first time I had done it because it makes me sick the way some people go on about things, if they dont like whats been written then dont read it but I think sometimes thats all these people have to do in life, too much idle time on their hands. it was foxtrods thread about being burgled and one person complained about what he had written, anyway I took them off, she'll probably comback with a smart retort but who cares, I started to laugh about it in the end. Have a great night anyway Lew. Bye Shaz

Hi all - happy Easter to you on this cold morning. Shazz - I went to have a sticky beak at the thread you were talking about - couldnt find it. Back to bed I go - too cold here!! Love Jude

Morning everyone.. Another fine day today.. We had a little rain yesterday afternoon but it didnt last long enough.. The garden is so dry..Back to my old self today and tomorrow we may go looking at cars. We now have to find a car we like and trade in the 4wd.. Been looking at the Honda Civic.. seems a nice car and not to big which is what we want.. Joodles, Congratulations on becomming a granny angain,, hope your daughter recovers soon and is home in the near future..Bet the highway going through the mountains is extremely busy today so a good time to stay home.. Sue.. Have a lovely time in the big town of Melb. and hope the weather stays fine for you..Relax and enjoy yourselves.. Gwenda Sorry to hear that you are having to work over the Easter time..hope it is not to busy and you dont get to tired..Do you get time off in liew or is that the normal days you work despite it being a holiday weekend.. Tony Enjoy your peaceful weekend and dont get into mischief.. do a Norm, sit back with a few tinnies and watch the footy and veg out.. do you and Barb a world of good..You can get some exercise jumping up and down on Sunday when you find out we have won lotto...LOL Laurie What a funny story,, wander where he found that word, I wander if he really new what it meant.. He did realise that it got a good reaction though from mum with chockies to keep him quiet.. Makes my shopping center seem very dull... Shazz. Sounds like you have a busy time ahead.. enjoy the kids and dont give them to much chocky.. Lara.. How are you mate.. Hope you are not going mad getting the house ready for the onslought..Wish I was comming down but sorry I cant make it this time..Still giving a little thought about the queensland one..will have to wait and see... Well I hope everyone has a very safe and happy Easter and anyone driving take care.. Love Mary xxx

Well good morning Wattlers and a good morning it is! My darling friends Rebecca & Sean have been blessed with the arrival of their first child Ruby Elizabeth at 9pm last night. After the tragedy of losing my beloved Chester during the week, this has certainly put a smile on my face, although I resisted the temption of asking them to name the baby Chester, lol. We've had about 40mm of rain (which I'm sure Chester had something to do with!) and Hubby is going to plant some trees. Pity we didn't have turf down, 'cause all we have now is a bog! Anyway, all in good time. Beautiful Autumn day here in Mudgee. I hope everyone is well, travels safely and has a wonderful day> Lew Lew xxx

Lew Lew, What a lovely way to start Easter. :) Nice name they have chosen too! Laurie, the things you hear in supermarkets!! You should send it into Reader's Digest!!! Hi Shazz, I read the thread originally and thought yep - here goes another one. But I don't think Fred meant to offend, he was just so (rightly) angry. But the minute I read it I expected peeps to be upset. Hope you have a great time with the G-kids but rather you than me for the next week !!!!! Enjoy :0 Mary - I think, when anything finishes it's good to have a time of grieving - then you can move on looking forward to the next stage. I sometimes think the problems with our modern life is that we don't stop and process all that should be dealt with but just hurry on with the next thing. You can carry a lot of baggage that way! Today I have to catch up with 'you know what!' My sister and family are arriving at 2pm and I was so busy this week that the house is awful!! The kids have moved out -housesitting - so at least their end is clean and tidy. it's only just gone 9am and already I have two loads of washing done and the bed stripped!!! Wonders will never cease :) Vonny

Good morning all from sunny Botany Bay, the only rain we got here yesterday consisted of about 10 spots - not even enough to wet the road. We ate on the balcony again last night - a very still night, and watched the endless stream of aeroplanes coming and going with holiday makers - for about three hours there was a line up on the side of the runway and another circling in the air. This morning we have watched as the numbers increase on the beach, there are several family groups there already - set for their Good Friday in the sun. Not a lot of boating activity, and the fishermen have gone home - hopefully with their menu of the day taken care of. Only two giraffes having Good Friday off, so not much room on the docks, and earlier we watched as the tanker from Kernell left and another block of flats (very heavy laden container ship) arrived. We are having a lazy at home day today, will go off for a drive tomorrow, wherever the car takes us and spend the night where we end up. Could be the mountains - could be the sea - will know when we get there! Shaz, what a laugh . . . I read some of those things on other threads for a laugh too . . . just dont get sucked in to replying - treat them as what they are . . . entertainment. I was tempted to come to your defence and tell them not to pick on a 95year old lady who lives in a mental asylum but thought you might hit me !!! Makes you wonder though doesn't it, how people survive in this world with a 'holier than thou' attitude. Mary, I suspect poor mum may have told him the word - as you do - trying to be up front and honest with the little treasures ! I guess we all could tell a few stories of our kids and 'Show & Tell' . . . I know mine certainly embarassed me more than once. Lew, I think Rebs just hangs around waiting for the numbers to come up - getting in practice for the Lotto !!! At least I have stopped singing 'Lou Lou' and am singing a different song this morning thanks to 'Ruby' - hope her dad buys her heaps of them !!! Do the right thing Aunty Lew, and train the wee thing the right way, I had great success with my neices little girl - I trained her from new born till at three she always asks Daddy to take her to the shops to buy diamonds and gold. When they hit the shops its straight to the jewlery store - even likes them better than Disney Shops . . . I am really proud of myself . . . its easy training because little eyes love the sparkles, just like bigger eyes. Well, lobster & prawns on the menu for lunch . . . and maybe a nice drop of cool white bubbles to wash it down . . . out on the balcony watching the world go by - lifes hard - but someone has to do it !!! Atlantic salmon on the BBQ for dinner . . . just phone for reservations !!! Hope you all have a good one . . . Stress free, and family friendly . . Hi Leah wherever you are . . . hope alll is well, and that you have a great relaxing Easter. Cheers luv Laurie

Was going to say “morning all” but that’s gone – where??? Vonny – you are doing well – my second load went in a short while ago. Had a sleep in for once – turned radios off last night and didn’t get up till quarter to 8. Even the cat didn’t wake me – thankfully. Mary – yes I normally work weekends so can’t complain too much but up to a couple of years ago we also got Easter Sunday off – not now. Once you start something in retail customers expect it all the time. Shazz – I missed your responses to that thread but have often wanted to write “get a life” to some of those on the other side of the world. Instead I sit here, shake my head and move on. Just another snivel libertarian that would change their minds if they were in that same position. Laurie – loved your shopping story – maybe that mother will learn to shop when he is at school in future – pmsl At least everyone got a chuckle – don’t know that I could have held it in like you tho Lew – glad you’ve had some good news with your friends little daughter – have told daughter if she was born on a Tuesday we could have called her Ruby Tuesday – she’s always been glad she was born on a Thursday – pmsl Talking of daughter – she’s 23 today. Got a chuckle when she came in this morning from birthday drinks last night – opened her cards and one from Nanna has 90 in the rh corner – daughter missed seeing that – only concerned with the contents of course. Now I know f-i-l has dementia but maybe m-i-l is heading the same way or her eye surgery was not a success. Hope everyone is having a relaxing day. Catch y’all later. Gwenda

Afternoon Wattlers. Partially sunny day in Melb, and the skies are blue through scattered clouds Dont know if your left for Vic. yet Sue? but it aint raining...yet...:>)) I have put a thread up on Arts and crafts, and hope to get some responses from various peeps. Its something i am interested in as apart from just genealogy, and is my 2nd favorite past time. I have always been interested in Oil painting, and painted many ozzie outback and bush landscapes through the years, and at one time having over 50 paintings in my study. I had the pleasure of meeting one of our great painters....Leonard Long, brother of Sydney long and of the Heidleberg art school in Vic. Leonard Long lived in my area, and had an art studio in Nth Balwyn. I had the pleasure of working at his house some 20 years ago, and while there he showed me through his home studio. He was in the process of an oil painting 12ft x 6 ft of the Austrian Alps.....to which he showed me. After picking my jaw up off the ground, i felt very privledged to admire his work in progress, as i was dabbling in water colour's back then. He asked me to bring some of my paintings to him.......which i did. He looked at them, and advised me on the do's and dont's....and also that i was to heavy to paint water colours. After some constructive advice, i went home with a different attitude and proceeded to paint in Oil's, and never looked back. Over the next 20 years i sold many paintings in Oz and New Zealand to various people, and my paintings were also sold at a Tattslotto agency in Flinders street Melb. ( city ) to passing peeps. I have added a few of my first paintings to the ASL board if anyone wants a peek at them.....but dont be to harsh........lol as these were done some 20 years ago. Hope everyone is having a nice day. Tony Oz....:>))

Tony - a man of many talents. Love the paintings. from one who can't draw a straight line to save herself Gwenda