General Chat

Hi all, it wasn't a bad afternoon, very short really for the distance we travelled, from 20 to 2 after leaving here at 5 to 12, to leaving their home at 6.30pm and arriving here around 7.40pm. train fares and taxi and his bus fare cost £37 but so glad we didn't take the car as he wouldn't have been able to drive back and I was too tired, having not slept much the night before.
I am still niggled tho that we received the command to visit on that date, and when I queried why they hadn't done it the following week so it was almost Father's Day, was told some people couldn't make it then. (Now realise it was to suit his mother as she will be going on hols at the end of the week) We hadn't even been asked if it was convenient and o.h. wasn't happy it was a Saturday as he lost a lot of overtime and he is trying hard to pay off his mortgage early because of his health problems incase he can't carry on working at his particular job for much longer. His eyesight isn't good and he needs to be able to see small print and screws etc in gloomy conditions in the machinery he maintains and fixes, it's computerised machinery and the working conditions aren't wonderful, hot, steamy and tight squeezes, and his knees play up where he has to kneel or crouch down a lot.
I had so wanted to go away this sort of time to take advantage of longer hours of daylight than our usual Sept. hols but with all this wedding stuff going on, o.h. didn't even bother to renew his passport so we won't be seeing Corfu this year now I don't expect unless I can persuade him to sort the passport out and book time off work.

I hope the two of them work out ok, but definitely think the son will have to change a lot more to give it a chance, the poor girl has to go back to work pdq as they have a big mortgage and won't be able to afford for her to stay home with the baby. She has her head screwed on and is buying things from people at work or at boot sales and ebay and she doesn't believe in designer gear at all so no fancy things for little one, or her!
The son was talking about spending £800 on a new computer when we were there, and he got a new bike to get to the station on as he has to come here to work every day, that's the second bike in a year! Somehow I am not sure he has grasped the idea of watching the money yet! Oh and he was out boozing with his mates on Friday evening while she was home cleaning the house ready for our visit. What does that tell you?
O.h's ex's partner is apparently determined the son in America will be home for the wedding, but I don't understand their attitude, she told me he and his new American wife would be at hers the night before the wedding, which isn't true at the mo, and I thought it odd as he is supposed to be best man so he should be with the groom anyway, not 45 miles away.
I asked the bride to be what was happening about her getting ready etc and she said the son will be staying at a travel lodge nearby, hopefully with his bro if he does get over here, but otherwise on his own or with a mate who presumably will have to take the place of the best man. We should be staying at the hotel where the reception is taking place the night before so o.h. could spend some time with his son if he wanted, I would be happy with a good book and a nice long bath lol
Quite obvious the mother, o.h's ex, doesn't think of the way things should be only how she wants them to go.
It will mean o.h. shelling out more money for the son's fare, if he is able to come and not having to work at any new job he can get.

I slept most of yesterday as everything caught up with me, but still had to get up and cook dinner, o.h. said he hadn't thought of doing it but supposes he could have, as he was just sitting watching tv all day. So he is going to make tuna and pasta bake for dinner Monday evening, well it's tinned tuna, tinned sweetcorn and a jar of pasta sauce, big deal, told him not to forget to do other veg with it, the bake on it's own doesn't do much for the five a day rule lol

Means I can take my time getting back from counselling which will be good.

On Tuesday I may go to the funeral of a sweet little lady I used to work with, she knitted lots of things for my son when he was born, and used to send him money every birthday, bless her, and I haven't seen her for years, but used to bump into her son and d.i.l. at times. Last time was N.Years and they told me she had alzheimers but was coping at sheltered housing accommodation then I read in the paper she had died. That's another one, lost my Dad's cousin in January, my cousin's wife a few weeks ago (her service is on my son's birthday for her ashes to be buried with my cousin's) a good friend's Mum died a few weeks ago who I knew quite well, a chap I knew for years died a while ago, and a neighbour's husband from where I grew up died a couple of weeks ago, I used to play with their daughter. I am half afraid to read the death notices these days.

Lizxx

Hi Mo and everyone


the day started with rain, but the sun came out by lunchtime and it is now a lovely evening

OH's eye is almost better ............ I'm insisting that we continue putting in the antibiotic cream for at least one more day, but he's had no pain in it, just a little dryness just before bedtime on Thursday. So he's been lucky!


s
xxx

Hello Girls,

Oh this is a lonely little thread! Where is everyone gone?

Mo, dare I ask how you got on at darts last night? I hope your team had some luck, and managed to beat the other team.
I didn't have a chance to get on here yesterday, between making cards and spent a good bit of time on the phone, finding out how the three patients in the family were.

Sylvia, glad to hear that OH's eye is now better. Your weather sounds a bit like ours here in 'sunny Britain', lol!

Liz, how are things with you? Hope you got on okay with the Counsellor yesterday.

Jean, hope things are getting better for you. Thinking about you !

Huia, hope you managed to sort out the scanner, and that it's doing the job you wanted it to do. Also hope Phil was awake and more alert when you last visited him.

Ann, have you managed to make any cards since you got home? At the moment I'm making a couple of get well cards.

Marie and Debbie hope all is well with you both. I hope I haven't forgotten anyone!

Going to do a bit more to the cards I'm making now, so speak to you all
later.

Love, Sallie. xxx

Hi everyone.
Sallie, we did very well in the opening games last night. We won the first three rounds,and got knocked out in the semi-finals. Never mind,I can have a rest from it now for a few months.

Sylvia,good to hear from you. It's a good idea to have continued with your OH eye cream for the extra day,as long as they did not stipulate just using it for a set period.
I hope your weather has brightened up a little.

Liz, put those papers away,and dont read the obituaries for a while. It's to darn hard on yourself,losing the people like that. And I think it comes harder when we read about it,and have not been told personally.
How did the counselling go this week. Was it any help for you,after the tiring and worrying weekend you had.

Ann did you get the rest of the plants put in . Was it dry enough outside to finish the planting.
The bedding plants I put in last week,are really flourishing. The busy Lizzies have doubles in size. Thats what a lot off rain does for the garden
isn't it.

Huia, did the car get through it's service o.k. I hope so as repairs cost so much dont they. And you need your car being so far away from Phil,so that you can visit him.
What a shame the scanner did not come up to the standard you expected.

Well girls,the painting and decorating is nearly finished. It's been a long process,as I have not really had the heart to do it. Shows I am getting older,as at one time I would have managed to finish it within a couple of days. But not now,the thought of just picking the paint brush up,wears me out. LOL

((((((((((HUGS FOR OUR JEAN))))))))) Hope you feel better soon love.

Right I am going to do a Sallie,and put the kettle on for a cuppa tea.
Bye for now. Love to you all. Mo xxx

Hi, yes Mo got all the plants in today, that was after taking my car for MOT then meeting friends for coffee at the garden centre, then collecting the car after it PASSED its MOT. we didn't have any rain today, it was quite pleasant but there was a cold wind, still the washing dried.

we were up to our eyes this afternoon re-arranging flights for four of us in October/November to Cyprus because the one booked has been cancelled. It took all afternoon and I was not even doing it, T was, but I was getting the 'backlash'! He was getting very aggravated. Still all sorted now, we had to change airports from gatwick to Bristol which suited us fine, especially as the flight is a bit later, then we had to change airlines from BA to easyjet which I am not so keen on, then we had to organise a change ot taxi times the other end.
We don't think the flight was cancelled, we don't think it ever existed, we don't think the online travel firm took into account a changeover to winter schedules as it seems BA don't fly to Paphos in the winter months from gatwick, only from Heathrow when it is dearer too.

Oh my lord Ann, your day has been pretty hectic.
But I am glad T was able to sort it out for you. It's not like you have just booked this holiday is it. I mean I know that BA are having these strikes,but I would not have thought that would have affected your flight.
Right I am away to my bed. Night Night god bless. love Mo xxx

We booked the holiday in March, and when they let us know the flight was cancelled they said they would refund the flight but not the accommodation so we were committed to buying another flight.

Hi Mo

and everyone


Gald you got that sorted out Ann!


I heard from J this morning ... they have booked their flight to come to us next month.

They arrive July 19. M has his PhD defense on August 5, then he'll go back home on Aug 6 ............... the idea is that he may have to make some changes to the thesis, and will be better able to do that in his own place, and in peace and quiet.

J will stay here wih MJ, and will be responsible for getting the corrected version to the university by the required date. She and MJ will go home on Aug 20

so we'll have a nice long time with them.

They will go to stay with her godfather and his wife for several days during the second week , giving them the chance to visit with 3 other old family friends at the same time. These 5 are the closest to "aunts and uncles" J has had over here, apart from OH's sister. They've all been heavily involved with her.



take care everyone



s
xxx

Hello everyone,from a very cold Bathurst,this post is no.2630.
Mo I got your nice email thank you very much, your home must be looking very nice after all the painting and the new kitchen cupboards.
You really do well at darts I probably wouldn't even hit the board.

Ann, this holiday had better be good after all the anx's it has caused,I am sure you will enjoy the sun.

Hi Sylvia, you must be looking forward to your daughters visit and especially seeing your grandson.I try to get to see my little grand children once a week some times that isn't possible, but they grow so quickly one week they are still crawling the next week walking.Abigail is having her 3rd birthday on Saturday, we are not having a party, instead her Father and his parents are coming down from Brisbane to be with Abbey and her sister Emily ,they are taking them to Jumbo Jungle its an indoor play area for children and they love going there, so they will have a good time.

Sallie you must be feeling better, that is pleasing to hear as you seem to back into your card making. I will be making 2 cushions to-day as birthday presents for Abigail and the 2nd one is for Emily.Barbara asked Abbey what she would like for her birthday her reply was that she wanted something PINK for her bedroom, Barbara came up with the idea of a cushion with her initial in white material on a dark pink square,which is then stitched onto a spotted green material which is the foundation of the cushion it actually looks very nice all together.

Huia I hope you get you scanner sorted out so that you are able to do all the things that you wish to do, I bet it cold over your way we have been having some very heavy frosts , my hands are very cold and my bedroom where I have my computer and desk is quite cold. I try not to put the heater on in the mornings as the electricity costs have risen so much, the kitchen and lounge area of the house get the sun all day in winter so the heating isnt needed there,I usually leave the answering of emails to the nightime but knowing I would be sewing later I wanted to get this done. Has there been any more news about Phil ,re the possible cancer, I do hope they are wrong.
How did the car service go? I have to put mine in very shortly as my regristration will be due soon I know I will need a new exhaust I hope there wont be much more to do.I hope you are keeping well especially your eyes.

Dear Jean, if you should be looking in, I do hope you are on the mend,thinking of you frequently and wishing you lots of Sunshine so that you can sit in a comfortable chair, put on a pair of sunnies, have a glass of wine and soak up lots of vitimin D, while dozing in the sunshine.
That sounds nice I might go out and sit in the sun myself but only with a nice hot cup of tea LOL

LIZ, Hang in there girl,I do think you are wearing that Oh of yours down.It was pleasing to hear that you got on well with her parents, I am sure you and they will be dotting grandparents & you will probably get a lot of pleasure out of being with the girl and the Baby, by the way what is the girls name, I hope all goes well for her.
How did your counselling season go ?

Hello to Deborah and also Julie if she stills pops in.
Love & Hugs to you all & may the good Lord smile down on you all . Marie.

I visited Phil this morning. He was still in his bedroom when I arrived at 10.15. The carer had been putting ointment on his itchy spots and had started dressing him. We then went to the lounge and there was a book about dogs on the table so I showed him the pictures in it and asked him questions: an alsatian, 'remember your dog called Chum? and remember the dogs in the War Dogs training school?' Then a Bichon Frise: remember Ruths dog? and so it went. Then a book of photos of New Zealand scenes: remember when we went here? Remember going up the Caples track and I fell into a deep hole of muddy water and you had to pull me out and I had to get dry and changed?' He was responding to my questions, although I could not make out his answers. Then they brought his breakfast (also his room mates). Phil fed himself (sometimes somebody else has to do it). He had 2 bowls of porridge, a mug of a warm chocolate drink (possibly Complan), then he tried to tackle the toast with marmalade, not easy when he doesnt have teeth, it looked a bit chewy, not burnt to a crisp as he used to do his toast. I stayed 90 mins, usually if he is asleep I leave after 30 mins or less, I dont have much patience for watching him sleep.

When I got home there was a copy of a letter which the gastroenterology dept had sent to Parkhaven about our visit earlier this month. It said they didnt really know whether or not he had cancer but as he seemed comfortable they wouldnt do anything in view of his age and condition. It said 'he is clearly cachetic'. I had to look that up in the dictionary. "Cachexia, n, archaic, general wasting of the body or weakening of the brain". Cachetic is the adj. So now we know! He certainly is a shadow of himself.

Huia.

Huia, I was just reading a letter in Saga magazine from a lady who (I think) works in a home for those with dementia. She said she has found that if she wears bright colours and bright jewellery it encourages conversation.

Good evening everyone.
I can see I am going to be up and down this page,so much to read and answer. Not that I am complaining mind you.

Sylvia, I bet you are looking forward to the family coming. BUT,it's going to mean a lot off changes for you and your OH. Your routine will be totally shattered. Working around a young baby,can be so tiring. Just think of all the sleepless nights,of smelly nappies,teething etc.
But being a grandparent,we take it all in our stride.
And fall into a chair when they go home,and relax and breathe again.LOL
We love it all dont we.,but it can be very tiring.
I love having my youngsters stay,but feel exhausted by the time they leave.
Thats the trouble in getting older, we become set in our ways,and things that we took in our stride a few years back seem to wear us out a lot sooner.

Hi Marie. Sorry to hear it's cold in Bathurst. We are enjoying some quite pleasant weather at the moment. No heat waves yet though. lol
The decorating is still not quite finished,but is not far off being so.
The jumble jungle,sounds very much like jumping jacks that is local to us.
All my littlies love to go there. And it is so safe there for them,with all the climbing frames,and ball pits,and slides,all areas are covered in a soft covering,so that if a child does fall,they do not hurt themselves.
Abbey will love the pink cushion that you are making for her. It's funny how little girls all love pink things,wether it's clothing or toys,it makes no difference.

Huia haven't they found Phils teeth yet. For goodness sake he lost them such a long time ago. Have they searched down the sides off the chairs in the lounge. Only my mum lost her bottom teeth as well,and when we looked for them,she must have taken them out,and put them down the side off the chair she normally sat in, in case she lost them,and then she forgot she had put them there. Thats the worst part off dementia,the forgetfulness.
The photo's were a brilliant idea off yours,even though you could not fully understand what Phil was saying,they obviously sparked of a memory for him.
Perhaps it's for the best that the gastrology department,don't do any operations on Phil. If he is comfortable the way he is,why make him suffer,
bless him. Not only that it would put extra worry on yourself,and the family.
The poor man has suffered enough as it is.
Keep smiling love,and know that we are all here for you.

Ann I agree with you about the brightly coloured clothes and jewellery,to engage people in talking to you. The same thing happens with the very young as well. Little ones are completely transfixed when encountering bright things,and the same should happen with dementia sufferers.
It's such a relief when the car passes it's MOT isn't it. The dread off what could be wrong with it sends shivers down most peoples spines. I was relieved when ours passed last month.

I wonder if Sallie has posted in all the time it has taken me to type this out.
I am so slow at it,but never mind I have all the time in the world.

Hi Liz, Debbie and not forgetting JEAN.
Love to you all. Mo xxx

Mo, Phil lost his teeth in the public hospital and then a found them a few days later but he wouldnt wear them as they no longer fitted and were uncomfortable, even though I bought some of that polydent stuff. I think they went to the private hospital with his stuff, but if he wont wear them there is not much we can do. I did think of getting him fitted with new teeth but in his condition I dont think he would co-operate with having the stuff in his mouth to get the shape. He is coping fine without. I noticed that one of the newer residents must be very hard of hearing as the carer was talking into her ear. I mentioned it later about hearing aids being a problem and she said they take them out and lose them. They dont like the residents to have control of their reading glasses either as they take them off and they get lost or broken. Phil has a pair in a specs case in his drawer in case they want him to look at something. They can put them on him. I take some with me for the same purpose.

Yesterday when Phil was responding to me I was wearing a dark green top with black trousers, so the bright colours dont seem to make a difference in his case! It is just a matter of how wide awake he is, but I will try to wear my red top next time.

Huia.

Hi all,

Huia, I read recently that while people wonder whether it is worth visiting a relative with Alzheimers's as the contact will often be quickly forgotten, the visit is worthwhile. Apparently US scientists have found that Alzheimer's patients are still left with warm feelings and a sense that life is worth living, even when they cannot remember a visit itself. I am glad you found Phil eating by himself and seeming ok and it's probably as well the doctors don't want to pull him about in any way and will let things take their natural course.

I am plodding on, feeling a bit low in many ways, I think it is because life is so tedious. O.h. is no company at all, falling asleep in his recliner after his evening meal regardless of what time I serve it and being unable to really think of more than one thing at a time, i.e. his son coming over for the wedding being the main topic . Every evening he looks out the window and remarks on how light the evenings are which really gets my goat as I had so hoped we could get a holiday around these next weeks to take advantage of longer brighter days for a change, instead of going away in September all the time. He won't go away once the children are on holidays from school and it's expensive so he complains about prices, hence me trying to fix hols for cheaper quieter times. Once he had the wedding to think about and then the arrangements re the son in NY etc, any other things went out of his head despite me bringing them up. He didn't go ahead and renew his passport as he had promised so going abroad is out of the question, and to add insult to injury, his ex and her partner are off to Corfu at the end of this week.


Because I am feeling so stressed I am sorry I can't follow everyone's progress with comments, be sure I am thinking about you all and hope I can start to feel more with it soon.
Meanwhile take care everyone, postiive thoughts for all you want to happen.

love
Lizxxx

Hi everyone.
I hope Sallie is o.k,only she has not been here for two days. If you are looking in Sallie>>>>>>>come back sweetie<<<<<<<<<.missing your little chats.

Huia I think you are right,it would probably be a waste of time getting new teeth for Phil. It would be a very uncomfortable and bewildering situation
for him to cope with.
I do feel for the residents in nursing homes.
I know that all my mums clothing had to be name tagged. And very often she would end up with other peoples clothes. And when I visited her she would ask me when I had bought her the new clothes. I would then take them to a member off staff,and ask for mums clothes to be returned.
Bless her mum didn't know half of what went on.
Why did they want the clothes name labelled,if they were not prepared to sort them out properly.
I dont know how it works over there,but I felt that the staff sometimes used to think the residents were a nuisance in mums home.
I sometimes wish I could have coped with her at home. But with a young son still at home,and the senile dementia getting worse,I don't know how I would have been able to cope.

Liz, I am feeling for you love. I dont like to think of you being so down in the dumps.
If you ever want to chat,you can always p.m me. And I know that Huia will say the same.
Is there no one you could visit for a few days,to get away from Im indoors.
Someone who will sit and have a good gossip with you,to take your mind off your problems.
Men can be so insensitive at times. All I can say is that I do know to a certain extent how you feel.
Once the t.v goes on in this house,all conversation dies. And then Roly wonders why I talk so much when I meet my friends each morning.
I have stored it up till I meet them,and then I cant stop.
I am luckier than you in that respect,I meet my friends each morning for a coffee. And I love it when there is only us girls all together gossiping away to our hearts content.

Hi it's me again.
Guess what, I have just had a lovely surprise. One off our daughters has just been to visit,and she has booked and paid for us,to stay at a four star hotel,for a weekend in July.
A total surprise for us both,we had absolutely no idea she was going to do it.
So we will be going to Dymchurch for the weekend. It's not that far from us, near to Flokestone,but we have never ever been there.
They have the Dymchurch and Romney railway there. I believe it's an old steam train railway, so it will be nice to go back in time,and have a quick trip on it.
Thats it girls,just thought I would share my delight with you all.
Love to you all. Mo xxx

Mo, I am not sure I am the one to help Liz at present. I have been feeling lonely and depressed myself. I went to the doc yesterday, had a long weep on her 'shoulder'. I havent been sleeping well so she prescribed some sleeping pills, took half one last night and slept very well, woke up a new woman (dont know what she was doing in my bed). I was spurred to go outside and walk briskly (for me) 3 times around the house and hope to get a walk somewhere else later in the day if it isnt raining, since exercise is supposed to help depression, or should I say reduce it as I dont want it helped! Doc also prescribed some mild antidepressent pills to help my mood. I am also thinking of rejoining choir just so I have some social interaction, and offering to help in one of the op shops once a week or fortnight. I dont see too many people, apart from the residents and carers when I visit Phil, and the people in the shops when I go shopping. It would be nice to have somebody to chat to occasionally, face to face. I know I can chat on here but it is not quite the same thing. Anyway I am feeling quite a bit better now so things can only get better.The sun is beginning to peep over the hills so must get the dishes done and decide where I will go for a nice long walk.

Huia.

what a wonderful present for you!


you'll have a great time


a grey dull day again, and still quite chilly


not much exciting going on here


we'll make our first trip up to the cabin next week ... leaving on Tuesday and returning on Thursday or possibly Friday .... just taking the generator and a few big boxes back up there. Stuff that we have to bring out in October-ish because it gets too cold to leave them there.


so if I'm missing, you know where I am!




sylvia
xxx

Sylvia, it will be nice for you to get away from it all at the cabin.
And Mo, how lovely of your daughter to treat you like that, I am sure that you will enjoy the break.
Actually at the moment we are like ships that pass in the night in this house, OH upstairs watching football and me downstairs watching soaps. drama etc. And it can only get worse as the tennis starts next week (Groan!)

Huia, I am sure if you can get out for a walk the exercise will help beat the depression, hope so anyway, I always feel better for a briskish walk.

Sallie, hope all is well with you.

Oh Huia,what a shame you are so far away. We could all meet and chat to our hearts content.
I am sorry that you have been feeling down as well. Hopefully the tablets the doctor has prescribed for you,will go a long way in helping you.
Loneliness,is a right Bu**er,and can pull you down no end.
And like Liz,having no one to chat to from day to day,is awful. I think thats why a lot off people turn to the net,for company's sake. Knowing that there is someone who is ready and willing,to talk,even though it be only cyber chat,that for some has got to be better than having no connection to the outside world at all.
Keep your chin up,and rejoin the choir,even if you dont always sing with them. At least the company will do you good.

Hi Sylvia,I have been reading the thread about Abbey/Christine,or whatever non-de-plume she is going under now. She is one rude woman,
I even caught her on TTF. Who the devil does that woman think she is.
She is so ungrateful for all the help she has been given,and takes it as her god given right,to have the help she has been given.
It's no wonder people have been up in arms over her attitude.
I did wonder when you would be making your first trip up to the cabin.
You both enjoy it up there don't you. How far away from you is it,I have been trying to remember.?
You will need to get it all sorted before the family arrive wont you. Will you take baby up there with you both.? Or is it to remote.?

Right my lovelies,I will say bye for now. Love Mo xxx