General Chat

oh Liz

(((((xxxx)))))


I do so wish that you could get away from that guy!


Isn't there any way that you could move out??




sylvia
xxxx

Hi Sylvia, not until I can sort out my own place and that will take ages and a fair bit of money. It's just not habitable at the mo, no hot water or heating for the winter, and so full because of my hoarding. I could call the domestic violence people because mental abuse is as bad as violence, but I can't bear the thought of being stuck in a hostel with women with families etc Also I have a lot of stuff here and if I didn't get it all out immediately, and where to?, he would destroy it all despite being told by the domestic violence woman a while back he is not allowed to touch my things, it wouldn't stop him, when his temper goes, it goes with a bang!
He has hurled books out the door before now.

Can't understand why I got things so wrong this time, really thought at first he was a decent sort of chap, but it was all a front and no one told me about the secret drinking and the temper tantrums. He should have been drowned at birth!

A decent lottery win would be my salvation but it just doesn't happen lol

Off now as he will be getting up for work in a mo.
Thanks for the hugs, much appreciated.

love
Lizx

Liz, it's just so unfair that you have to put up with his horrible and nasty ways. Yes it would be nice to have a big win on the Lottery, you would then be free of him. If we are lucky enough to have a big win, I'll send you the money so that you can get your house sorted out.

I do feel for you, having to live and put up with someone like him. I'm thinking about you and hoping that things will get better for you, very, very soon. Hope all goes well with the Councsellor today.

Speak to you later.


Love Sallie.xx

Afternoon Ladies,

Oh Liz, I really feel for you and actually feel a bit guilty when I know that I have a good life and you are out there suffering. But, as you said, if things are kept rfom you it is harder to find out about them until you are so far in that it is difficult to climb out of the situation. My thoughts are with you - very sunny ones today.

I've had a lovely day so far. I met my sister at her allotment early and we did some weeding. The ground is like concrete so tough going, but we managed to find some of the fruit & veg she had planted. For my troubles I got given some rhubarb, courgettes and a bag of fresh peas. None of it will last long when the gannets return home from school & work later today!!!

Then I went to see Mum & Dad and picked a load of raspberries & strawberries with Dad, which was nice. He was a bit down when I got there but picked up once we had strolled around the garden and discussed everything that he had growing.

It was funny reading all your stories about children as babies. My 4 are now 7, 9, 13 & 14. I breast fed all of them for months so never sterilised anything!!!. Not done them any harm, as none of them ever had bottles, so they just went straight onto eating anything and everything they found - including a slug in Matthews case. I managed to get into the garden just in time to see the end of it disappear into his mouth.

I had to have an amnio for both Matthew & Sophie as I got pregnant with each of them when the child before them was only 7 months old. My hormones hadn't settled down and I was still breastfeeding at each time, so much for that being a good contraceptive - we wanted the children close together so it didn't matter at all. So I have 16 months between D & M, then a gap of 4 years and then 16 months between L & S. Just the way things worked out.

We had to wrap the babies very tightly in blankets to put them to bed, but I don't recall which way they had to sleep. But I suppose as they were virtually strapped up then on their backs would have been most comfortable. All 4 of them still to this day like to be completely wrapped up - perhaps it is a comfort thing.

Anyway, better go and do something with all of this fruit, other than to encourage the wasps into the kitchen.

Hope you are all well and coping with the heat.

Debbie xx

Liz could you get some help from your son,to help you clear out some off the things from your own place. Even though it has got no hot water or heating,it has got to be better for you to be away from that bully.
Take your time in clearing away things you don't need,from your place, and then wait for Mr Cheerful to go to work,and clear out your things from his place.
You DO NOT need to suffer his spite love. It's not fair on you,him taking it out on you,when his argument is with his own kids.
Is it your own house/flat, ie have you bought it.
Could you go to the council or some other body to get help with the
heating and water.
PLEASE get some help from someone, we all worry about you.
God bless you. Love Mo xxx

Hi Mo

and everyone


I do hope that this weather warms up soon!!

We had to go see someone downtown this morning, so we took the bus. Both wearing waterproof jackets, and OH was also wearing a sweater!!


I was pleased that my knee held up ......... the tensor (elastic) bandage gives a lot of support, and it isn't hurting. I go to the physio tomorrow morning (Tuesday). We'll see what he says!!



I bottlefed J .......... I wanted to go back to work, and only got 8 weeks off in the dark ages, so it didn't seem worthwhile to breast feed and then change to bottles.

The advantage of that was that OH gave J her very first feed after she came out of 24 hours in Intensive Care (she was a caesarean baby, so was sent there as a precaution). That helped to seal a bond between them that is beautiful to see.

OH started to give her the 6am bottle about 3 days after we got home from the hospital when we realised hat all 3 of us were being awake for much of the night. I never once heard her cry, it was always OH ........ so he'd wake up, then have to wake me, and so it went. I then began staying up so that I could pick her up before she made a noise at 2 am. He did the 6am, and so we both got about 6 hours sleep!!

But I did get her sleeping through the night at about 6 weeks old, before I went back to work.

When she got on more solid food ........ he continued to give her breakfast at about 6 am, which was when he got up anyway. They did that almost every morning until she married and left home at the age of 25!!


We took her camping at about 5 months old ................... I sterilized bottles filled with formula in a pan over the camp stove!



She's still early to bed and early to rise!




s
xxx

Thanks you lovely friends, I am ok. He was very subdued on Monday and I was very cool with him. My counsellor was lovely, very supportive and I had a good bawl and was lots better. I managed to talk with his son when I was out by phoning him on my mobile and he said how embarrassed he was by his father's actions on the bbq visit and I explained how his dad didn't eat properly for his diabetes so collapsed at the station, as if he was drunk. I emphasised how both boys need to realise what his health is like and what he is like, and that he is working all hours to pay off the mortgage so they can't expect him to pay out all the time especially for the scrounger.
Anyway son rang him later and sorted out a bit more about the other son coming back on his own so he is going to contact him and say they can't afford to pay for both of them to come over.
We will have to see what happens next.

Off to get my vit d jab today and a smear test, way overdue, so hope all is well in that area lol and will catch up with you all later.

I really appreciate the support, one day I might be able to hold a big housewarming party and you can all turn up lol

love
Lizxx

I am so glad you were able to get hold of the son and explain things to him.

I hope that invitation to the housewarming includes me, though I dont know if I will be able to make it :((( Still, we live in hopes.

Huia.

Hello all , Dear Liz I hope things are a bit better for you to-day,its damn sad when we women have to put up with constant abuse and you are unable to leave because you are trapped for lack of money. I do feel for you Liz and I hope you win the lotto but if you did ,whilst still living with him he would be entitled to Half, so make sure you tick the box so that your name wont be printed in the paper.

Well we had another heavy frost this morning the bird baths were all frozen and our pond was still frozen when I went and did some gardening at 3 pm, the frost was heavier than yesterday and I thought that was bad, they are predicting snow at the weekend.Brrr,Brrr.
I had another busy day to-day went to the Gym we had a workout on the bycicles then we did circuit work.

A good workout I came home feeling much better, so I washed my floors then polished them, I then cleaned the laundry windows and the last job was to clean the filters in the exhaust over the stove, by that time the sun was dissapearing behind the pine trees next door so I then turned the heating on closed all the blinds then had a nice coffee and 2 toasted sultana bread, after I had finished that I opened my PUTER to talk to you guys. It is now 5-15pm it is still light but very coldas the sun has set..

Mo ,Jean,Sallie Huia & Deborah I read your post I hope you are all well and that it is not too hot for you all, it is such a shame when the weather changes so quickly from so wet & cold then suddenly it heats up the body cant take itand if it is so hot that you cannot sleep you become irritable.I love Autumn it seem to be more stable and you dont have the cold breezes like spring.

Sylvia I am pleased to hear your knee is healing just take care as it is so easy to jar or twist it ,I have a wonky right knee which I often twist, I have to watch it while exercising.

I have to register my car on the 24th of this month which means I will have to take it in and have a new exhaust put on it as it wont pass inspection. Here in NSW all cars over 4 yrs have to have a pink slip to say they are roadworthy , I also have to have a green slip which will cost me over $300 that is for 3rd party insurance, my regestration is covered by the Govenment and when I need a new Licence that is covered by the Gov. also,which I am very thankful for.
I must be off as I am going to Barbara,s For dinner a nice Roast
Love & Hugs to you all Marie

Liz my friend it breaks my heart to see you getting treated so bad and as others have said we wish you would leave the i cant put that on here ,but i also know its not easy for you and ive said it before come to me for abreak away from all the anger and nastyness,if i had the money i would pay your fare and when i say this i mean it ,and i would also travel over to you and try and help you sort your house out and i know what you will say say that im not up to it ,but when your friends need you that goes on back burner and you get in touch anytime and i,ll ring you this is the time you need your friends ,take care love speak to you soon
Love Dutchxx
I wish everyone better days ahead
Jean hope things get better for you and not forgetting my pal Caz

Good afternnon one and all.
Liz everyone is concerned for you, please take advice from your very very close friends, and do something positive about him.
He is not good for your depression,he is dragging you down love.
When his son's speak to him,I do hope he does not take his agression towards them out on you.
If he starts,PLEASE get out of the house,even if it is ony for a few hours,to get away from him.
I only wish as Dutch has said we were all wealthy enough to be able to help you financially,to get away from him.
I say it every week,if only that win on the lotto would come up.
Please don't think I am nagging at you, I only speak out of concern for you.

Hi Marie, I can't believe you are due for snow,when we are sweating in this heat. LOL
Got a visitor be back soon.

Sorry about that girls,that was one of my neighbours,she came to let me know that another of our neighbours,had been rushed into hospital.

I hope you enjoyed your roast dinner Marie. We are living on salads at the moment. We have just had Salmon with it. So it's kind of a hot/cold meal.

Sallie how did it go with the therapy last week.
Still no luck for my son on the job front. He got so excited,as he went for a second interview on Friday,but they phoned him yesterday and said he had been unsuccessful.
Has Richard had any luck yet.?
My son is talking about moving up to Scotland again. I can't see the work situation being any different up there to down here. But his fiance comes from there.

Oh Debbie, I had to chuckle about your fruit and veg collecting. You sound like you belong in that old programme, from way back, The Good Life.
It seems odd that you had to have the amnio done before Sophie and Matthew. My eldest two girls were born exactly one year apart 5th october 1964,and 14th october 1965,and they didn't do amnio's back then.
They basically only did them if you were above a certain age, mainly the over 40's, in case off any problems.
But these days people are waiting till much later in life to have children.

Sylvia, I am sorry you also seem to be having bad weather at the moment.
It seems like Canada,OZ, and NZ are suffering the weather we have every winter. It just seems so strange that we have got it nice,and you are all having it bad over there.
There is you, Marie,and Huia all with cold weather.

I wonder if Ann is o.k
We have not heard from her in a while. A big HELLO ANN, if you are looking in.

Hello Dutch, I hope you are feeling a little better,and not in to much pain.
I do hope they sort your medication out soon,so that you can have a better quality of life.

Now our JEAN ((((((((((( HUGS FOR YOU))))))))))))) We miss your chat.

Bye for now lovely ladies. Love and best wishes to you all.
God bless you all,and keep you safe. Mo xxx

Hello everyone still sruggling with the vertigo, but went back to the docs, so he has changed my deppression tabs, so hopefully I wont sleep all the time, and some new vertigo tabs, thanks for all your kind thoughts and good wishes, I am so grateful ....cant do much writing but soon will be able to join in, I am sure,
love and hugs Jean xx

Hello everyone still struggling with the vertigo, but went back to the docs, so he has changed my deppression tabs, so hopefully I wont sleep all the time, and some new vertigo tabs, thanks for all your kind thoughts and good wishes, I am so grateful ....cant do much writing but soon will be able to join in, I am sure,
love and hugs Jean xx

Sorry you are right Mo, I thought I had added yesterday. I was away from Friday until late Sunday afternoon, busy yesterday doing things and at a meeting today. However, I have been on the board since Sunday but can't think what happened,
Debbie, I hope we are able to enjoy that walk, we are starting to look forward to going to Jersey now. Just hope the weather is better than it has been on previous visits. Last time we were there was ten years ago but a week later than this year, it was dry but mostly grey and dull. I think we got to sit by the pool once. Still it was ideal for what we like to do, bus and walk, then bus and walk again.
anyway, here I am Mo.

Jean you snuck in there. Do hope the new tabs work for you. Vertigo is horrible.

Hello Ladies,

Liz, as Mo has already said, if only we were all rich so that we could help you to get out of the situation you're in. Oh! if only I had a big win on the Lottery there are quite a few people that I would help, you would be one of them, and I certainly mean that. I only hope that his son will have a word with him, because he needs to told what he's doing to you. He should also be told, to stop taking things that he can't change out on you. If you do the Lottery make sure he can't half of the winnings, as I know he would be entitled to. So please do whatever needs to be done to make sure that doesn't happen. Just take care!

Marie, sorry to hear that the weather is so cold with you in NSW. You certainly have been busy doing all the extra housework. You put me to shame, I'm sorry to say that I'd much prefer to do make cards, than do the housework, I do it as quickly as I can so that it's out of the way. If someone had told me a few years back that I would say that now, I would never have believed them. It's strange that I can't imagine snow at the moment with all this hot weather we're having, but I only have to think back to our winter, and I suppose it isn't too difficult.

Sylvia, pleased to hear that your knee is much better with the stronger support bandage, take care when you're out and about. If I remember rightly, I don't think it's too long before your daughter and her family arrive. I bet you and OH are really looking forward to seeing them. You'll certainly see a big difference in MJ, it's amazing how quickly they grow, they don't seem to stay babies for long. Hugs and kisses to MJ!

Joyce, it's lovely to see you on this thread. Hope you are not in so much pain today, I wonder how long it will take them to decide on your medication. Thank you for the mail I received from you this morning, although I haven't opened it yet. How are things going with all your family?
Let's hope that the new medication will take the pain away, so that you can hopefully start to visit them again. It's something for you to look forward to, at least.

Mo, like your son, Richard stiil hasn't been able to get a job. I don't see your son getting a job very easily in Scotland, either. I always think that if they can't get a job around the area that they both live, there isn't any chance of getting one anywhere else in the country. There doesn't seem to be many jobs around this area at all, and the few there are, are asking for experience.
I didn't go to see the Counsellor last week, my next appointment with her, is on 15th July. I think that she's on holiday for the next two weeks, so by then it will be four weeks instead of three since my last appointment.
I actually got my Cuttlebug today, goodness knows where it's been, seeing that they tried to deliver last Wednesday, and didn;t leave a card to let me know. I hope all is well with Roly.

Huia, I hope that you are okay and that the weather isn't too cold. Have you been to see Phil over the last few days? Hope he was alright, as he can be, and that he was able to respond to you. Have you decided whether you're going to sing to the residents, yet? I'm absolutely sure the residents will enjoy hearing you sing, and it might stir some memories for Phil.

Debbie, glad to hear that your dad brightened up a bit after you had helped him to pick the fruit in his garden. I bet the vegatables and fruitfrom your sister's allotment, were really lovely, there's nothing like fresh home grown fruit and veg.

Jean, if you're looking in, I hope you're starting to feel better. We really miss you on here. Hope all is well with J and D.

Ann, I hope you're alright, as Mo's already said we haven't seen you on
here very much lately.

I'll say goodnight now, speak to you all tomorrow.

Love and best wishes. Sallie.xxx

Ann, glad to know that you're okay. Hope you enjoyed your weekend away.
It's nice to hear from you.

Jean, let's hope that the new tablets will do the trick.
Lovely to hear from you. Take care!

Love, Sallie.xxx

Hi all


Vit d jab done so hope it kicks in and gives me some energy this time, the hair growth amazed the practice nurse and she is going to tell a friend of hers who has been losing her hair, to get tested. She has also said she will find out about whether it would help post natal hair loss but I think that's a different ball game to be honest. My jab bled a bit as it was so hot here she said it affects the way the blood clots, normally I hardly bleed from injections. The smear was a bit uncomfy and she isn't sure it will 'work' - if we get a query result I might have to have eostrogen before having another test, lovely, just what I need lol

O.h. spoke to his son again and they are going to contact the NY lad and tell him there is only enough money for one fare over. It will be up to him then if he comes alone or not at all. I had a quick chat with son's pregnant fiancee, and she said she is fed up with all the hassle over him coming, and she would prefer he comes alone, so she doesn't have to entertain her future s.i.l. as they have never met and she wants her house to herself to get ready for the wedding. She is very thoughtful, she says as her bridesmaid will be 35 weeks gone, and a guest will be 36 weeks and she will be 28 wks, she is getting a couple of folding canvas chairs to leave in her dad's car so if anyone feels tired while hanging about for photos, they can have a sit down. She is very down to earth, doesn't want designer stuff for baby, and is enjoying finding bargains at boot sales and charity shops and such. She says as it's due in November, it probably won't need more than vests and babygros and little cardis etc for the first few weeks, just as long as it's warm, and comfy.
We were having a laugh about my outfits, as I asked her to check what her mum and stepmum are getting, don't want to turn up dressed the same lol

I picked up the long dress from Bhs and also the larger top from Bon Marche but having tried them both on, have decided I prefer the Bhs dress and would be more likely to wear it again. I am going to take the odd sequins off the front, there are groups of 5 purple ones stitched to the darker purple flowers but it will look better without them. I am also thinking of unpicking the narrow scarf and getting some fine material to line it to make it more of a stole, I can easily add the beaded trim again to each end and it will cover more of my front and or my shoulders depending which way I wear it, so more useful.

I will get him to take some pics of me wearing it so I can send it to some of you to see what you think. Will have to try and lose a couple more pounds on my tum and buy a pair of control bloomers, don't want anything too thick or tight in case it's as hot as it was yesterday, phew, nice to sit out in but to drive and walk about, too hot! I will also get a shrug in case the weather is cooler on the day, so I have a choice, all will be things I can use again. I liked the colours (turquoise and shades of purple flowers on white) of the other outfit more than I liked the style and will be cooler in a dress than in a skirt and top. The long dress has a full lining slip inside and doesn't seem to cling so will be comfy I think. If I look too fat I can pretend I am with the pregnant guests lol It's the Sophie Gray one called Violet Secret Garden but I can't find it on line to let you look.

Please don't worry about me here, I won't let him grind me down, and if I do win the lottery, don't worry, he would only get what I chose to give him and that wouldn't be much! He has no claim on my money or my house same as I don't really have a claim on his. My house is willed to my son.

Joyce, lovely of you to say I could visit, and I could also visit friends or rellies here and in Germany, Malta or Miami, (if I had the money lol) but I would still have all the stuff to come back to, so it's best I try hard to work with the counselling and get things cleared up so I can get back to the house. After that, if my health was ok, I could work towards visiting folk - maybe I could let the house or rooms out and do it that way. Just have to find the mental and physical energy to sort out my things and get rid of lots, ocd is such a stupid illness but so hard to treat hence there being many many people suffering with it and getting nowhere.

Huia, of course you could come to the housewarming - and then I would come back with you for a visit!

Hope you are ok and Phil is still being well looked after and that you can find somewhere to spend some time to alleviate the solitude you find yourself with now.
Funny tho, isn't it? that you can be lonely even with someone in the house with you, if the relationship is gone to pot!

Sylvia, I bet you can't wait to see MJ again, babies change and grow so fast.

Jean, will reply to your pm later love. Take care and hope the new meds help more.

Oops, too many words

Lizxx

You know some of us are not well and the pain we try to hide
But one of our friends needs us we put our pain aside
Its not easy doing this but its inportant that we do
And for some the pain is so great but they will do the best anyone can do
You no its not always on the outside that people can see
The worse is in the inside and friends cannot see
But as long as we have friends and people on here who care
Thats half the battle won just being there
So my friends i,ll leave you with this thought
Our friends are worth there weight in gold ,and will help without abackward thought
So no matter how bad things may get just remember one thing
Were all here for one another and the strength we bring
Dutchxx