General Chat

Hello All,

Sylvia, I'm sorry to hear that you have had a fall, sit and rest it for while, I hope it will soon feel better. People can be kind and considerate when they see someone in trouble, it's nice to know that there are still some nice people in the world. Really sorry to hear about your friend, I'm sure you could have done without that news after just having the fall.
Fingers crossed that your daughter will phone her dad today. I know exactly what you mean though, I made a Fathers Day card for Richard to give to Alun, I took it down with us when we went down to see him three weeks ago, so that he could write it. I suggested to him then, that it would be nice to ring his dad today, it ended up with Alun ringing him, to thank him for the card, Richard had forgotten it was Fathers Day. Typical!
It's my birthday in a couple of weeks time, so I'm now wondering if he will actually get me a card. One thing for sure, I am not making my own birthday card from him and Christie!

Huia, did you go and plant the native trees as you had intened to do? I hope the weather was dry enough to plant them. I hope you are feeling a bit better, so that at least you'll feel like going out or do something that you enjoy doing.

Where is everyone else today, they must be having their Sunday afternoon rest, lol.

I'll look in again later, going to make some cards now.

Love, Sallie.xxx

Oh for goodness sake Sylvia. It's just as well I was not around when you fell, because I really can't help it,but I laugh when people fall,I am helping them up but laughing at the same time. It's not that I am unsympathetic, I do everything I can to help,but cannot stop myself from doing this.
Will you for goodness sake take care,and stop giving me the willies when you hurt yourself like this.
I have told you in the past to take more water with it. LOL

Why is there always one child in every family,who go against the grain.
My youngest son,considers a txt to his father wishing him a happy fathers day is enough. For crying out loud,how much does a card cost. I don't think he realises how hurt his dad is,not to have received one. I am not saying buy him a present,because I know he is finding it difficult to manage financially. But to have just sent a txt,and not rung him hurts.

What date is your birthday Sallie,we will have to have a knees up on here for you to celebrate. After all, you are only 21 once.

Huia, I hope they didn't try to plant YOU with the trees today. If you didn't manage to go,I hope you had an enjoyable day in other ways.

I wonder how Liz is today. I wonder if Mr Wonderful got any fathers day cards from his sons.

I will pop back later to see if anyone is around.
Bye for now girls. Love Mo xxx

In response to your question Mo, the son in NY has apparently sent a card, well when his dad rang him yesterday to say Happy Birthday and Happy 1st Wedding Anniversary, the son asked if it had arrived, idiot features said as far as he knew No, but I could have picked it up and hidden it till today! Didn't happen, tho, the only card that came was from son who we visited last week - the one getting married soon. I hid that when it came yesterday and left it out when I went to bed this morning, it was a funny card with To Dad Love W in it, no gift, as usual. For years the sons asked their Dad what he wanted as a gift, no one in that family ever used initiative, always asked what was wanted. (We went on holiday to Cornwall for a week early in our relationship and the boys - then in their early-mid teens - said Dad for our presents from your holiday can we have a ... and went on to ask for a footballboot bag for one and a hooded top of a certain make for the other. I was flabbergasted that they had the cheek to do that and we spent hours of our holiday traipsing round shops trying to find what they wanted. )
Anyway because o.h. doesn't like to ask them to spend their money he always says Oh don't bother about me, so most of the time they don't! I keep telling him it teaches them to be selfish but he can't see it. On some occasions the older son has asked me for ideas and in 2009 he asked about his Dad's birthday gift so I suggested a dvd of the Carry On films which he likes, as I thought the son could build up a collection of them each time. He told me he had looked on line and had to order a set. Son didn't give him a gift on his birthday as he was away working and the girlfriend had to send a card but the gift never materialised later or on F.Day and this birthday was missed out too, even tho o.h. went over the next day to stay for the weekend. When I spoke with the son a while back I asked him what happened and he said he forgot about it all, so obviously hadn't ordered the dvd and still hasn't done anything about it.
There haven't been gifts from the son in NY for a couple of years now as he hasn't worked, just been travelling back and forth til he married the girl in NY.

The ex went off to Corfu end of last week which is why the bbq wasn't this w/e as I had suggested, to cover seeing her Dad and his Dad. No one asked us what would be convenient, we were just told when to come and o.h. jumped when told! No holiday for us and this is the time I wanted to go back to Corfu when the days were longest and should be warm longer.
O.h. still hasn't booked the room for the wedding venue and we should be staying the night before the wedding and the night of the day so no rushing about in cars.
Apparently the son getting married has been looking for flights for his bro and wife so it looks as if by hook or by crook, regardless of the practicalities finance wise and such with him getting a job in NY so they don't have to move into the parent's house with her daughters, they will be here and there will be pressure on me to take some of my things out of here and for me to spruce the place up. It will be nigh on impossible, he has a million jobs to do round the house and doesn't bother to do them, the carpet in this kitchen/diner where the computer is on the dining table,is almost threadbare and the kitchen units are ancient and tatty, the wallpaper is half stripped and the rest is what he put on when they moved here 26 years ago.
I just know the rest of my summer is going to be ruined with pressure to do stuff here, no chance to do anything I want and manage to do for myself, and no holiday till it's all over, which will be September as always when the nights are pulling in and the evenings are chilly and dark!
Story of my life folks lol
heyho
off to cook dinner, how boring! Thank heavens he is on late shift for 4 evenings this week, so time to myself.

Sylvia, hope you are feeling less sore, and Sallie, start dropping big hints about your birthday. My lad knows when mine is at it's two weeks and a day after his lol, but he also knows under pain of a very hard time to get me a card with nice words and make a bit of effort even tho he has little money, he will have to forgo a pint or two. Fair dos, he always does get me a lovely card and something to unwrap however small, it's always something special.

love to all
Lizxxx

Hi again everyone!

Mo, it's nice to know that Alun and I are not on our own when it comes from receiving cards off our offspring. As you pointed out, we don't expect a present, seeing that both your son and mine are out of work. I'm annoyed with Richard as he didn't even have to buy a card, I not only made it, but took it down so that he could write on it, brought it home and remembered to put it on the table, ready for Alun to open this morning. Richard could have at least tried to remember to ring his dad.

It's doubtful that I'll get a birthday card from him. I certainly won't remind him. Both Liz and I celebrate our birthday in July, we are the same age, just a couple of weeks between us. I'm the eldest, my birthday is on the 9th, and I think Liz is somewhere around the 24th. I'll have to check with her to make sure of the exact date.

I'm going to have a shower now and then do a bit more to the cards.

Speak to you all soon.

Love and best wishes. Sallie.xxx

Hi Liz,

Just missed your post! I know you and I are the same age, and both of us celebrate our bithday in July. I've got the 24th in mind, but not sure if it's right, so could you please let me know, as I don't want to miss your birthday. Richard has always been pretty good remembering family birthdays, but this last year, he just forgets our birthdays, of course, I remember the rest of the family and end up buying or making cards from Richard. I'm certainly not doing that for my own birthday. Well, we shall wait and see!

Hope you are feeling a bit better Liz. Is it tomorrow you go to see your Counsellor? Hope it all goes well for you.

Love, Sallie.xxx

Hi all

another grey-ish day here, and not too warm. I was cuddling under the duvet all night and early this morning!

It's OK Mo ................. I think it must have been quite funny to watch as I slowly sank to the ground .......... sideways!




My daughter is usually very good, remembers everything, and calls on "the" day (whatever the day is) ............ she really is a very thoughtful young woman.

we've always discouraged her from buying presents for Mother's and Father's Day ......... it is just so commercialized over here. But she has been known to do it, and of course, made little presents when she was younger ........ which was fine. I remember "losing" several of my white pillow slips one year to fabric painting for presents on those days and on birthdays!


She did send him a lovely card, with a beautiful handwritten message in it, and that arrived on Friday.



BUT it's all to do with her in-laws ...................... not only is this time of year Father's Day, but her f-i-l's birthday, his grandaughter's birthday, the in-law's wedding anniversary, and J&M' s own wedding anniversary are all within a few days of each other.

So ..... the in-laws insist that there is a big celebration at their house, which is about 1 hour's drive outside the city, on Father's Day

When you add in the 4 hour time difference between where she lives, and where we live ................ it does make for a rather short window of time.

Plus of course, OH has made it worse this year wth the student opera The Magic Flute being on this weekend, he's in the chorus as usual, and it's a matinee today.


However ....... it is not the first, nor even second, time that he has come second to the in-law on this day, and it just got to me on Friday when I got the email stating she was already thinking of not phoning but would do it on Monday if possible!

He doesn't say much about it, but he does feel the hurt when she doesn't phone. And she doesn't realise that


The trouble is we are far less vociferous in our demands about such things than are her in-laws, so I think she thinks we are always accepting of the delay.


I haven't told him about the email ...... and don't know whether to do so or not.


She has about 3½ hours from now to phone before he goes out again. He then won't be back home until about 7 pm our time, which is 11 pm their time, and far too late for her to be up (she's a very ealry to bed, early to rise person).


Ah well, we shall see what happens



off to mooch around



s
xxx

Sylvia, I hope the call came in time. I don't think people realise the hurt felt sometimes do they? I wish the sons could see their Dad's face sometimes, when he finds they haven't done a Christmas pressie or card or whatever, he doesn't expect a lot but something token would be nice just to show they have made the effort. They always have enough money for what they want, son here is getting a new computer - £800 he has earmarked for that but he has a laptop from work too, and a computer at home already. He bought himself a new bike last month. The other son has smoked since he was 18 and no one else in the family here or at his mother's smoked, he 'caught' it from a previous girlfriend when he moved in to live with her family and told this side of his family that they didn't know how to provide a good home!!! He would only have to cut back a little to be able to send something over - let's see if the card arrives today from NY. There was only an ecard last year and an ecard for his Dad's bday in Feb, and you can't come across those in a cupboard and get nostalgic can you? It's the same as when o.h. told the sons he had diabetes and the bleed on the brain, etc they don't seem to realise how unwell he is sometimes, and take him for granted that he can work and shell out money for them.

Sallie, your bday is the day before my son's and mine is the 25th, the same day as Dutch on here. Wish they wouldn't roll round so fast lol, seems no time since we were just 60 does it?

I nearly got my son a good cooker yesterday but when he went to look at it it was too wide. Coincidentally it was at the flat where his friends used to live with their parents, then the Dad died - he was 73 - and the Mum had to go in a home as altho only in her 50's she has a cerebal palsy type illness so is very handicapped and the lads couldn't look after her and had to move out, for various reasons. The new occupants wanted to sell the cooker but son said they were sort of torn, as it was given to them by their Mum who died two weeks later, and they sort of feel attached to the cooker, but are moving to somewhere with cooker already installed.


Yes counselling again today, o.h. said last week, it doesn't seem to be working, he thinks it is all to do with my hoarding and going there will wave a magic wand and make me able to get rid of things, it is going to be a long process and with his attitude, even longer! He went to see his own Dad yesterday and spent time with him, his stepmum and sisters and by the time he got back, it was too late to go out so we had a lazy time at home, a bit of gardening and watering and that was it.

Catch up with you all again tomorrow,

take care
love to all,
Lizxxx

Liz my friend you come to me for your birthday as it being on the same day but i,ll be the big 70 this year,everyone here celebrates there birthdays from the day they were born till they die,and you would love it the things they get up to is funny and there great fun to be with never any cross words,i am just wondering what there getting up to but i am trying to get to England to see my family before my birthday as none of them have passports,but i mean what i said Liz you can come to me and if i had more room would invite some of my other friends,its realy nice nice villiage we live him well got to go and get some rest with this slip disc see specialist on monday to see if there going to operate
Dutchx

Evening all.
Dutch it's so good to see you on here. Liz desereves all the support we can give her, so please come back and have a good old chat with us any time you feel like it.
It will be even nicer when our Jean is back on her feet again,and we can get back to our normal good old crowd.

Liz what a shame about the cooker for your son. It's not as if he ask you for a lot is it,bless him. He is a good lad.
How did the therapy session go today.
You will have four nights of peace and quiet then if Mr Misery at work. Just think you can do what the hell you want without him looking over your shoulder.

Sylvia, it must be awful for your daughter,to have to contend with inlaws like that.
Did she catch your OH at home when she rang,or had he already left.
Can't blame your OH for wanting to do the concert of the Magic Flute,we can't change our lives for our children can we,as much as we may love them.

Hi Ann, Sallie,Huia, Debbie and of course Our Jean.
Bye for now girls. God bless you all. Love Mo xxx

Hi all

she did call ............... but in the middle of the afternoon when OH wasn't in, and one of the times that I had said he would be out in my Friday email.

We had a bit of a barney, she got very upset and hung up.

Her husband called later, and we straightened out a lot of things, and decided that she should try again about 6 pm when I expected OH to be back

She did, he was ... and then we ended up having a lovely talk ...... and I apologised for the barney.

He was so delighted to get the call.

I got an email this morning to say she hadn't looked at her emails since Friday so she hadn't read the one giving her the best times to phone.



so all a tempest in a teacup, and Mum over-reacting to the Friday email.


she had tried her very best, after having to be with the in-laws from 11 am to 6 pm ......................... she'd have phoned before they left home for the event if she had read the email sooner.




Sallie ................... it's strange, the in-laws are generally very nice, but they do have these expectations and demands on their son and daughter. J has stood up to them over the years (she's a very strong character), and has managed to much reduce their demands on her and M.

For example, m-i-l phones her own mother at least once a day. She started off expecting M to do the same to her after he moved back to that town ........................... it's now down to once a week at the most. Her own mother had to tell her during J&M's first year of marriage that the situation was now different, M had other priorities and was responsible for and to another person.



we're off to the cabin tomorrow .... the knee seems to be healing and getting less painful. I probably won't do much, but at least I will be there with OH


I'll be away until Friday



take care




sylvia
xxx

Have fun Sylvia, but please take it easy,and don't overdo it. Speak to you when you get back. Love Mo xxx

Hi all, I added to the Friendly thread about a card arriving from NY - it's obvious the son is homesick and wants to be able to come back for the wedding as the card was full of flattering (smarmy) remarks lol about what a wonderful dad he has been and is blah blah blah
Oh well it will keep o.h. happy for a while and make sure he coughs up for the fare for son to come over, would be fine with that but I think the new wife should stay in NY and have some time with her daughters, she is out working all hours cos the son hasn't had a job since he got there in Dec 2008 and it must have made a difference to the girls' lives, Mum was teaching before so home when they were home.

Counselling went well and the weather was lovely, got the bedlinen washed and on the line before I went so all dry when I got home.

Sylvia, glad there was a call that did the job eventually, and glad you sorted things out with your daughter, it helps to clear the air sometimes.

Enjoy your trip to the cabin and take care

love to all - time for bed now
Lizxxx

Hello all.

I am glad your day went well Liz.

I dont know if I said on here that I was feeling lonely and depressed and couldnt sleep, so went to the doc last Thursday. She prescribed some sleeping pills to take at night and some mild anti depressants to take in the morning. She wanted to see me again today for a 'long talk'. I told her I was quite a bit better but the anti dep. were making me feel rather sleepy during the day, so she told me to take them at dinner time instead as they would help with the sleeping. I am glad I can take them then instead of in the morning as I dont want to do much when I am so sleepy. I had hoped to visit Phil after seeing her but I was too sleepy so I will go tomorrow instead, and on Thursday I have been invited to a birthday lunch down the road, for a local woman who will be 80, so I am getting a bit of a social life, not that I am too good in crowds due to a slight problem with my hearing. Hearing aids are no good in a crowd. But at least I can go and listen to others and come home when I have had enough.

Huia.

Hi all.
Liz it feels like your Oh is being used by his son doesn't it. Kind off well if you dont pay for me to come home for the wedding,then it will be your fault. Thats not very nice at all,it's like being blackmailed.
I have to admit that my youngest son can be rather selfish like that as well. And by him not getting his dad a card for fathers day,he has upset his dad so much,that today it is my sons birthday,and Roly did not even want to go visit him,to take his card to him. We never give presents to our kids because with having the eleven grandchildren to buy for,it has become to expensive for us, so we just give cards to them instead.
It's good to hear that the therapy session went well.

Huia enjoy the Thursday lunch. Company is what you need, even if you don't talk to a lot off people there,it's being amongst folk that will do you good.
Just remember not to take your tablet,till you get back from your lunch,you don't want to be falling asleep into your meal. LOL

I everyone, thought I had better come on to let you know I am still in the land of the living....lol... Huia, you sound just like me I am still sleeping a lot , but I am going to try taking the tab at lunch time, see if it makes any difference, thanks for the tip....
Marie, I was blessed to read your good wishes, thank you...hope you are well...
Sallie I used to do some parchment craft many moons ago you have wetted my apatite, i will see if I can remember how to do it or if I have patience to do it....lol....I do hope you enjoy it, how is Jennie? D is ok.
If I am not to late enjoy your break Sylvia and hope the leg is better, you must take more water with it....
Ann, your garden sounds wonderful, I am so envious , my few pots seem to be doin g o.k. except the Daff camelia, the leaves are dropping off I moved it into the sunny side of the back yard, could it be to hot for it?
Liz will p.m. you

Debbie, always busy busy, you are so great with your kids, such a good mum....bless you...
I hope I havent missed anyone out, I am sure there is someone else....... oh yes our beloved leader, Mo.....your doing a grand job, darting here there and everywhere pretty good for someone of your age.....I am off....

Take care everyone much love Jean xx

Whoops that was me....sorry...

LOL, you can run Jean,but you can't hide from me,I will catch you in the end.
It's so good to hear from you again. I am just glad you hadn't emigrated and not told us.
I was going to ask Dutch to keep an eye open over in Holland,in case you had caught a ferry over there.
I loved it when we lived there,but that was back in the 60's,and I dare say it has changed a lot since then.
We lived on the Dutch/German border. And would love to go back,but I cant see that happening in a hurry.
Take it easy my friend,slowly but surely.
Love to you and the family. Mo xxx

Hi all, please please cross your fingers, and anything else for good measure!
O.h. came home from work last evening and said he had been talking to the son who is getting married and he is thinking the son in NY should come on his own, it's going to be too expensive to bring them both over. Now if that son and o.h. can organise things while o.h.'s ex is in Corfu, we might have things settled and done with. I am going to ring the son here later today and remind him how his dad wants to get his mortgage paid off cos of his health problems, which is true, and therefore hopefully back up the idea that paying for two is too much. O.h. has to get a new suit, pay for the hotel for us for two nights which is around £150 because it's the hotel where the reception is being held, then it will be buying drinks for others etc and our meals there, and my outfit, as well as a wedding present and petrol to get there etc, so a very expensive time and he will lose overtime as he did the other Saturday when we went to the bbq. It will also be better for the son here to just have his bro for company the night before the wedding as he is going to stay in a travelodge so his fiancee can prepare herself for her big day with probably her sis and her bridesmaid for company. It would be a bit of a strain I should think, if she had to entertain a s.i.l.. she has only spoken to by phone and email and who isn't used to our ways of doing things. She is better having her home to herself, especially as she is pregnant. Also if the new d.i.l. is here it will take some of the attention from the bride with o.h.'s sisters and father and stepmum.
Far better wait till son in NY has a job and can save up to bring his wife over, next Spring perhaps when they can meet the new baby too.

Off to bed now, lovely morning here, the sky has been pink since 3.30am and I have just watched one of our blackbirds tug a huge worm out of the garden.
Happy Days!

Lizxxxx

Hi Liz. Fingers, legs, toes, eyes are crossed for you.

Today I was propositioned by one of the residents when I visited Phil. He is a Dalmatian and called out to me and when I looked over and said Hello he sang a song. I am told he always serenades women who take his fancy! He then beckoned me over and I went and asked if he sang in a choir. Unfortunately I could not understand his reply, but he said something about tonight. I gather he wanted me to go to his room tonight. When I left to come home he seemed upset. I told him I had to finish my shopping.

One of the carers asked me if I would consider singing a couple of songs to the residents in the different wings some time. She is trying to organise quite a few of the visitors to do things like that. The trouble is I dont know what songs to sing. I would have to swat up on words. And I cant accompany myself on the guitar or anything like that. I do play the piano but havent done so for a long time and I have arthritis in one hand so probably wouldnt be very good.

I am now taking my half anti depressant tab at dinner time in the hopes I wont be so sleepy during the day but will sleep well at night.

Huia.

Liz, I forgot to cross my arms as well, but then it was hard enough typing with my fingers crossed.

Huia.